Echoes from Ephesians: A New Attitude

August 5th, 2025
by T.J. Nichols

Put On a New Attitude
Ephesians 4:21–32
By Pastor Tammy Long

Quick Glance: For Your Heart Today
We all have those moments when our reactions don’t match the person we’re becoming. That’s because we’re still learning how to live in our new identity in Christ. In Ephesians 4:21–32, Paul paints a picture of spiritual transformation—not by rule-following, but through relationship with the Holy Spirit. He reminds us that we’ve been given a new nature, and we are invited to “throw off” the attitudes and habits of the old self, and “put on” the character of Christ.

This is more than behavior modification—it’s a Spirit-led, grace-empowered journey of becoming who we already are in Jesus. And the motivation? Love. We live differently because the One who lives in us is profoundly grieved when we settle for less than who we are—and lovingly empowers us to try again.

3 Takeaways
1. Throw Off What No Longer Fits.
Bitterness, falsehood, rage, and selfishness belong to your old self. They don’t fit you anymore. The Spirit helps you let them go.

2. Put On Your New Nature.
Kindness, forgiveness, truth, generosity, and love—these are the clothes of the new you. Through the Spirit’s renewing work, you can wear them daily.

3. Transformation, true change, comes from the inside out, not from a moral code of ethics.
The goal isn’t perfection—it’s relationship with God. The Holy Spirit grieves not because you broke a rule, but because you are deeply loved, and that love empowers change.

If You Only Have a Moment
Take a breath and receive this truth today:
Inhale: “Holy Spirit, remove what’s no me…”
Exhale: “…and dress me in love.”

Full Sermon Manuscript estimated reading time: 22 minutes

Put On a New Attitude

Introduction: The Tension of Two Closets

Good Morning Family,

We are more than halfway through the book of Ephesians, as we listen for the echoes of truth that still resonate and reverberate for us today.

Last week, Pastor Scott Loo from Great Exchange encouraged us to “walk worthy of our calling in Christ,” and to measure our steps with humility, gentleness, patience and kindness.

He cast a vision for the kind of person we want to be.
But let me tell you, and I will only speak for me—by Monday morning, I was reminded of just how hard that is.

Because the truth is, even though we’ve been called into this beautiful new way of living in Christ, we still carry around parts of our old selves in the world.

Old attitudes… Old habits… Old reactions that rise up a little too fast and stay a little too long.

I know I’ve had moments where I’ve thought, “Why did I respond like that? That’s not the me I want to be.”

Sometimes it feels like I’ve got two sets of clothing in my closet—one from the Spirit, and one from my old self—and depending on the day or even the moment, I put on the wrong outfit.

That’s what Paul addresses in this next section of Ephesians. He challenges us further in the exhortation to walk worthy. He says, “Yes, you’ve been called—yes, you’re God’s beloved—but now it’s time to live like it with a new wardrobe, a new attitude, a new way of being that starts on the inside and is evident on the outside through the power of the Holy Spirit.”

Paul doesn’t leave us guessing. He gives us some everyday ways to start doing just that.

So, if you’d please open your Bibles with me to Ephesians chapter 4, beginning at verse 21… let’s listen together for how the Spirit is inviting us to walk differently. To live differently. To love differently, dressed with a new attitude.

Scripture: Ephesians 4:21–32 (NLT)

21 Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, 22 throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. 23 Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. 24 Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy.

25 So stop telling lies. Let us tell our neighbors the truth, for we are all parts of the same body.

26 And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 for anger gives a foothold to the devil.

28 If you are a thief, quit stealing. Instead, use your hands for good hard work, and then give generously to others in need.

29 Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.

30 And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption.

31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. 32 Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.

That’s Not You Anymore

Family, there’s a lot in these eleven verses, but to really understand what Paul is saying in context, we need to glance just a few verses earlier than we began.

In verse 17, Paul says, “With the Lord’s authority I say this: Live no longer as the Gentiles do, for they are hopelessly confused.”

Which in Paul’s day was the same as saying, live no longer as unbelievers do.

And then he describes that unbelieving, old way of life before knowing Jesus—characterized by: a darkened mind, a hardened heart, and a life disconnected from God, including a loss of sensitivity where unbelievers don’t even recognize when they’re out of alignment with what is good and right and true.

By verse 20, Paul begins the contrast. He essentially says, That’s not you anymore.

In Christ, we’ve been given something new. Not just something to believe—but something to become.

It’s more than just a new belief system, it’s a whole new way of being.

A Process of Renewal

In verse 21 where we pick it up today, Paul is explaining, “Since you have heard about Jesus and learned the truth that comes from Him.”

Your path is different.

You’ve encountered the truth of the living God in Jesus, and that truth is meant to change not only your thinking but your living.

And he outlines exactly how that change happens as a process:

Throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life (v.22)
Let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes (v.23)
Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy (v.24)

Did you catch the flow of that movement? There is a process. The verbs used here suggest a continual activity.

Throw off… Let the Spirit renew… Put on. Repeat.

This is not simply about changing our behaviors. Paul is talking about transformation.

This is Spirit-led, grace-empowered formation from the inside out.

We don’t just stop doing bad things—we take off what doesn’t belong to us anymore… and we let the Spirit dress us in something new. Again and again as we become more and more like Jesus.

And what I like about Paul is he doesn’t just leave us with this beautiful idea—he takes it further. He gets practical.

He begins by naming a few specific attitudes and habits that need to be thrown off… and what it looks like to put on something new.

As we walk through these together, I want to invite you to hear them not so much as a checklist of dos and don’ts, but more of a mirror to examine what you may be wearing.

Consider it a way of asking:
“Holy Spirit, where are you inviting me to take something off?”
“And what are you helping me put on in its place?”

Throwing Off and Putting On in Day to Day Life

Paul starts with something foundational: our honesty with one another.

“Stop telling lies. Let us tell our neighbors the truth, for we are all parts of the same body.”

The old nature protects itself by hiding. It avoids hard conversations. It withholds the full story. It says what’s easiest, even if it’s not entirely true.

But the new nature—the one we’ve been given in Christ to put on—is one of truth. Not harsh words disguised as honesty keeping it real, but truth spoken with love, even when it’s hard.

And Paul’s reason is simple: we belong to each other. That’s our motivation to speak the truth.

We are one body. What affects one part of the body affects the whole. When I’m not honest with you, I’m not just protecting myself—I’m weakening the connection between us. And I’m hurting myself as well as you.

Paul says—throw off falsehood. Not just big lies, but also the small cover-ups, silent resentments, and those side comments to make ourselves look good or to wound another.

And put on truth-telling—the kind that honors the relationship and reflects the One who is Truth Himself.

Perhaps this is an area the Spirit is gently saying, this falsehood outfit that you wear sometimes isn’t your best. Let me dress you in another.

Don’t Let Anger Take Hold

Continuing on, Verse 26 begins:

“And ‘don’t sin by letting anger control you.’ Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.” (Ephesians 4:26–27, NLT)

Notice Paul doesn’t say don’t get angry. Anger itself is not a sin. It’s a natural, God-given emotion. The issue is what we do with it.

The phrase, “Don’t let the sun go down on your anger,” doesn’t mean not to go to sleep if you’re upset. What Paul’s getting at here is don’t let anger fester. Don’t let it sit, sour and ferment.

Unresolved anger becomes a foothold. Foothold in the original language means a space, a place. So basically don’t create a space or entrance the enemy can enter and fan division, resentment, and bitterness.

Anger can be an incubator for so many other sins and disconnections from God if not addressed.

So what do we throw off exactly?

We throw off letting resentment linger. Letting our emotions drive our decisions and fan division. Holding on to an offense.

Instead, what do we put on?

Timely resolution, reconciliation. Grace, patience, and the kind of humility that’s willing to say, “I’m still upset, but I care more about this relationship than winning the argument.”

This is not easy. But it’s necessary if we’re serious about putting on our new nature.

From Self-Preservation to Generosity

Let’s move on to verse 28 which says:

“If you are a thief, quit stealing. Instead, use your hands for good hard work, and then give generously to others in need.”

This one may feel like a free pass to some—
We might say, “I’m not stealing anything!” Next!

But Paul is speaking to more than just criminal behavior. He’s talking about the old nature that takes instead of contributes. That nature that looks out for self first. And hoards rather than shares.

The new attitude Paul describes is one of contribution. He says: use your hands—use your efforts—not just to provide for yourself, but to have something to give to others.
So what do we throw off here?

We throw off the mindset that says, “What’s mine is mine.” And you get yours. The habits of taking, withholding, and only looking out for our best interest.

And we put on a heart that’s ready to give, share, contribute with generosity.

I wonder if there is someone the Spirit is inviting right now to try on the new attitude of our new nature in Christ in this area.

Now, before we keep going, I want to pause for a moment—because I know this is a lot.

Because these aren’t just behavior tweaks; they’re heart-level shifts. And it can feel overwhelming if we try to hold all of them at once.

So again, I simply want to encourage you to listen with an open heart.

Not as a checklist to evaluate how you’re doing, but as that mirror the Spirit might be holding up gently and lovingly to take a closer look at what you are wearing.

Maybe one of these hits home in a way the others don’t. That’s okay. Don’t worry about the ones that don’t stir anything in you today—listen for what does.

That’s the Spirit’s invitation for you this week to throw off the old nature and reset your mind with a new attitude.

Let Your Words Be a Blessing

Picking up with Verse 29 it says:

“Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.”

The old self speaks without thinking. It reacts instead of responds. It uses sarcasm as a defensive shield and criticism as an offensive dagger. Sometimes our words can sound harsh, sometimes “funny”—but they often leave a bruise.

Paul says: throw that off. Those words don’t belong to the new you.

Instead, speak what is good and helpful. Let your words encourage.

In the original language, the word Paul uses here means using our words to give grace to the hearer. That’s a beautiful thought.

Imagine someone walking away from a conversation with you saying,
“That felt like grace.”

It’s hugging someone with our words.

So what do we throw off?

Harsh words, careless words, words that wound or wear others down.

And what do we put on?

Words that uplift, soften, heal, and give life.

A New Way of Relating

Then in Verses 31–32 Paul brings it all together when he says:

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”

This pretty much captures it all—not with new commands, but by showing what the whole movement looks like when it takes root in our relationships.

So he urges us to:

Throw off bitterness. The kind that lingers long after the moment has passed.
Throw off rage and harshness. The outbursts, and the simmering resentment.
Throw off slander. Talking about people instead of to them. Tearing down reputations instead of seeking to understand.

And in their place we are to:

Put on kindness.
Tenderness.
A posture that’s willing to forgive—because that’s exactly what God has done for us.

This is what the new attitude of a new nature looks like when it begins to transform not just what we do—but who we are and how we relate to one another. How we live in community.

It’s not always dramatic, either.

Sometimes it’s as simple as speaking gently when you could have snapped. Or choosing to let it go when you could make a point for moi!

But every time we make that choice, we are putting on the character of Christ. We are walking worthy of our calling. We are making visible the love that has been given to us as someone who belongs to Christ.

The Heart of the Matter

Now, you may have noticed as we walked through these verses with this rhythm of throwing off the old and putting on the new—there was one verse we intentionally left out. Not because it wasn’t important… but because it’s so important that I wanted us to come back to it and let it settle in a different way.

It’s the verse that, to me, holds the heart of this whole passage. It’s the big “why” of everything Paul has instructed.

Verse 30 says:

“And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live.
Remember, He has identified you as His own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption.”

As I was preparing this sermon, listening for what God wanted to say to us, this verse kept hitting me in the gut.

Paul doesn’t say “don’t make God angry.” He doesn’t say “don’t get yourself in trouble.”

He says, don’t bring sorrow to—or “grieve,” as it’s often translated in other versions—the Holy Spirit.

In other words, don’t cause pain to the One who lives in you. The One who seals you, claims you, and marks you as God’s own.

This tells us that everything we’ve unpacked so far isn’t about following rules—it’s about a relationship.

God the Spirit is a Person. A Comforter. A Friend. The third Person of the Trinity—with a will, love, and yes—emotions. The Spirit can rejoice… and the Spirit can feel sorrow.

The word for grief or sorrow Paul uses here in the Greek—lupeō—isn’t casual. It means to cause deep sadness… emotional pain… grief.

That’s how intimately the Spirit is connected with us.

When we choose to live in our old nature, the Holy Spirit isn’t disappointed in you like a disappointed teacher. The Spirit is grieved—hurt—because you matter that much. And the old nature hurts us and everyone around us.

Think about this—
We don’t grieve over someone we don’t love.

So the fact that the Holy Spirit can be grieved by you means that you are profoundly, tenderly, relentlessly loved.

The Motivation of Love

You know, I think often we think of sin in terms of consequences.

“Will I get caught?”
“Will this mess up my blessings?”
“Will God still love me or use me?”

But Paul is inviting us to think differently. To grow up spiritually.

When we were young, we obeyed to avoid punishment. Bu as we grow, love becomes the deeper motivation.

When you really love someone, you don’t want to hurt them—not because you’re afraid of what they’ll do, but because you care about their heart.

That’s what it means to live in relationship with the Holy Spirit. That’s why we put on a new attitude.

A Personal Story

I was reminded of a time when I hurt someone I deeply love—and I didn’t even realize how much until I saw the look on their face.

It wasn’t a particularly dramatic moment. I hadn’t done anything outrageous. But I had been careless. I spoke too quickly, I didn’t listen, and I brushed off what they were trying to say.

And when I paused long enough to see what I had done… they weren’t angry. They were hurt.

And that hurt me.

Because when you love someone, you don’t want to be the reason they’re in pain.

And in those moments, it’s not yet about how to make it up to them; it’s about acknowledging the hurt and saying I’m sorry so the relationship break can be restored and move forward.

That’s what Paul is wanting us to understand here.

He’s not just calling us to live morally—he’s inviting us to live relationally.

Not to follow a list of rules to avoid punishment, but to love well because we’re loved so deeply.

And we are.
You are.

Loved so deeply that the Spirit feels sorrow when we ignore that love… and get tripped up by old ways of being.

And yet, loved so deeply that the Spirit enables us to try again.

This is the amazing good news:
The Spirit who grieves is also the Spirit who empowers.
Who never gives up on us.

And who whispers, even now:
“Let’s try this again. Let’s take this off… and put something better on.”
And I will help you.

That’s grace.
That’s the goodness of our God.

A Prayer of Confession

Holy Spirit,
I’m sorry for the ways I’ve grieved You.
For the words I’ve spoken too quickly,
the bitterness I’ve let fester,
the unforgiveness I’ve justified,
and the moments I’ve chosen self over love.

Clothe me again in kindness, humility, truth, and love.
Help me take off what no longer belongs to me.
Help me put on the new nature You’ve made possible.
Renew my thoughts, my responses and my heart, O God—
and renew a right spirit within me.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.