Finding God In Our Feelings (Expanded)

Sermon Text: Psalm 18:6, Psalm 27:7-8
Sermon Preamble
The celebration of Resurrection Sunday stayed with many of us all week. However, life rushes in: distresses and challenges of the day to day do not disappear. We are flooded with all kinds of feelings and realities during the week that we have to navigate. Some of us are in hard seasons. For most of us, life is neither all good nor all bad. Often great and wonderful things as well as challenging and painful things happen at the same time. How do we live into the Resurrection and victory of our Lord, Jesus Christ, when the hard and painful things in our lives cause us to feel the opposite, especially when our hearts may be crying out. How do we feel about our feelings and emotions? Looking at the illustration of King David, writer of many psalms, we have feelings and emotions, as made in the image of God, and manifested by the Son of God, our Lord Jesus Christ.

David as a man of feelings
David was a man of deep and honest emotions and feelings.  Examples of Psalms written by David include the following: “My God, my God, why have you abandoned me? Why are you so far away when I groan for help? Every day I call to you, my God, but you do not answer. Every night, I lift my voice, but I find no relief” (Psalm 22:1-2). “O Lord, how long will you forget me? Forever? How long will you look the other way? How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul, with sorrow in my heart every day? (Psalm 13:1-2). “Wash me clean from my guilt. Purify me from my sin. For I recognize my rebellion; it haunts me day and night, “Against you and you alone have I sinned; I have done what is evil in your sight” (Psalm 51:1-3). “Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. Relieve the troubles of my heart and free me from my anguish” (Psalm 25:16-17).

The Disciples and Feelings
The disciples were dealing with a myriad of feelings huddled together the night of Jesus’ resurrection. They know that the body of Jesus is missing.  Flooded with all kinds of emotions and feelings, they were afraid of being persecuted or accused of taking the body of Jesus. In addition, they would have been grieving Jesus’ death. They felt confused because none of the events of the past week are what they were expecting. They felt anger at the religious leaders, Pilate, and perhaps even Jesus. Peter, and perhaps the other disciples were dealing with guilt and shame; they all had scattered and left Jesus alone. That night Jesus appears and proves that Jesus is very much alive. On top of all these emotions and feelings, now there is also surprise, probably schock, and joy. The scripture text says they were overjoyed; joy on top of joy.

Doubting Thomas or Honest Thomas
Thomas was not with them, dealing with his feelings on his own. When the disciples told Thomas they had seen the risen Lord, Thomas declared, “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe it!” A week later, the doors were locked, but Jesus pops in, and Jesus appears and stands among them. Jesus invites Thomas to touch his wounds, but upon seeing Jesus, Thomas says, “My Lord and my God!” Thomas has become known as doubting Thomas, which implies a bad thing like we don’t want to ever be like Thomas. But what if we called him honest, not doubting, Thomas? Nowhere in scripture does Jesus condemn or judge Thomas. Thomas was real and honest about what he was feeling; Jesus met him exactly here he was.

Our emotions and feelings as made in the image of God
We all have emotions and feelings; it is part of how we are made in the image of God. God has emotions and feelings. God feels joy (Zephaniah 4:17). God feels grief (Genesis 6:6). 
God feels anger (Deut. 29:26-27). God feels hate (Proverbs 6;6). God feels regret (1 Samuel 15:10-11). God feels compassion (Psalms 103:13). God feels love (Jeremiah 31:3). Jesus, as Son of God, manifested all these emotions as well. Emotions and feelings are part of what it means to be human and who God made us to be. 
In a broken and sinful world our feelings can get distorted and lead us off track sometimes. Have you ever been hijacked by feelings, imprisoned by feelings, lied to by your feelings, or swimming deep in your feelings? Many times we cannot trust our feelings, because everything we feel isn’t true, right, or even healthy. 
Some of us are oblivious to our feelings. We stay in our heads so much that it can be hard to articulate how we really feel. Sometimes for spiritual direction we are asked how we feel, but instead we state how we think. Some of us choose not to deal with feelings at all; we ignore feelings and act like the feelings are not there. Often we do this because we don’t want to feel what we really feel. Sometimes there is a good reason for that, like when we experience a trauma. Our feelings and emotions find a way to leak out in one form or another.
Some of us are all about our feelings. We feel deeply, passionately, with hyper-sensitivity. If we aren’t careful, we can be overcome, undone, and swept away by our feelings.
Most of us are some combination of these, perhaps depending on the feeling. How are we to manage our feelings that are core to us and have so much influence and power in our lives?
We can love David and the Psalms of the Bible. Called a man after God’s own heart, David was a shepherd boy and young man that no one paid attention to until God saw something in David and called him. David was a warrior and leader who eventually became King. Modern media would have loved David. David also had a wandering eye issue and committed adultery. David abused his power and  committed murder. David was a poet and musician, authoring at least 73 Psalms. David deeply loved God, and God deeply loved David. David was passionate, honest, and raw with his feelings. David kept it real. David gives us a wonderful example of what to do with all our feelings.

The meanings of feelings, emotions, and mood
We use these terms interchangeably and they are related, but they are not the same.
An emotion is an automatic, subconscious reaction that provokes physiological and physical change. Emotions are not connected to reasoning. Emotions are universally shared by humanity. Navigating through life triggers emotions very fast. In a quarter of a second, something can trigger an emotion and cause a chemical to be released and for you to emote an emotion. This happens subconsciously. Sometimes another person can see the emotion you are emoting without you even knowing it. The expression, it is written on your face, illustrates that the chemical released not only in our brain, but also in our body. Our bodies respond to emotions whether we are aware of them or not. Our emotions are telling us something we need to pay attention to.

A feeling is a conscious response assigning meaning to our subconscious emotions. Feelings come when our emotions are triggered for an extended time or triggered long enough for us to assign meaning. We learn meaning from our culture and our environment, gender and family norms we are taught, and experiences such as trauma. It doesn’t take long for us to assign meaning. For example, when you see something that triggers the emotion of surprise, you assign meaning that makes you feel overwhelmed, vulnerable, grateful, or even excited. The same emotion can provoke different feelings depending on the meaning a person gives it. Feelings are the thoughts about your emotions.

A mood is a state of prolonged feeling. For example, if something triggers your emotion of sadness, and you start to feel withdrawn or isolated, you may say that you are in a somber mood or even depressed. Mental health challenges are related and connected to our emotions, feelings, and moods.

We all have emotions, feelings, and get in moods. God feels, so emotions, in themselves are not bad or the by-product of sin. Emotions in themselves are neutral, but they do provoke feelings. The feelings lead to thoughts and actions either towards God in alignment with God’s ways  or away from God contrary to God’s ways.
In this sermon series, the primary topic is feelings. We will explore the meaning we give to the emotions that bubble up with us and how we respond to them. We are not really taught what to do with our feelings, especially those we deem as negative feelings.
You may have heard expressions like: get a grip, suck it up, man up, just deal with it, crying is weakness, get a thicker skin, just think positive and happy thoughts, it’s not that big a deal -it could be worse, get over it, don’t you know how blessed you are. None of these are helpful in dealing with the real feeling! Instead, they teach us that our feelings should be discounted, are invalid and are not worthy of attention. Unfortunately, the Christian Church over the centuries has not done the best job in teaching how to deal with feelings.  The Christian Church tends to jump over the feelings and give a bible passage that speaks about the feeling, but there is a process to dealing with our feelings.  
Emotions are signals, and our feelings are telling us something that we need to pay attention to and respond to. Emotions can point to celebrations and joys to embrace. When we have negative and challenging emotions and feelings, those emotions and feelings can be a plea for help, pointing to a legitimate need or a place where we may be stuck. We need to feel before we can heal. 

Learning from the Psalms in Dealing with Hard and Painful Feelings
There are hard feelings we don’t always know what to do with. These feelings we wish would go away or want to totally ignore.

First, it is okay to not be okay. Many Psalms express the personal struggle of the psalmist. “I cry out to God, yes, I shout. Oh that God would listen to me! When I was in deep trouble, I searched for the Lord. All night long I prayed, with hands lifted toward heaven, but my soul was not comforted. I think of God, and I moan, overwhelmed with longing for his help” (Psalm 77:1-3). We do know that this writer was not doing okay. God wants us to know that it is okay not to be okay.

Second, it is okay to feel. A feeling does not automatically mean a lack of faith. Sometimes, we need to process feelings and thoughts, like Thomas. When we feel, we have a decision of what we will do with that feeling. Even with his doubts, Thomas was not fully gone; he was with the disciples one week later. To deny feelings, or negate them does not address the feelings. Emotions and feelings have a way to survive one way or another. We need to feel, so that we can intentionally deal with whatever it is that we feel, and then when necessary, we can begin to heal.

Third, the Psalms teach us it is okay to be real. One of the comments about the play in our service on Resurrection Sunday last week is that James expresses his anger and frustration about happenings in his life and the world and says, “Where were you, Jesus!” James gives voice to those who fear being disrespectful to God and want to be reverent. We may have fears from God zapping us for raising our voice or being mad. The Psalms teach us to be real. God can take it, since God already knows how you feel. The words in the Psalms are raw, vulnerable, and filled with emotions and feelings. ‘How long, O Lord, Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all day? How long shall my enemy be exalted over me? (Psalm 13:1-2). Whatever David was feeling, and whatever emotion erupted, David was real before God. It’s okay to be real, just like David, just like Thomas, just like even Jesus.

Five things to help us be real and honest with Jesus in our feelings
“But in my distress, I cried out to the Lord; yes I prayed to my God for help. He heard me from his sanctuary; my cry to him reached his ears” (Psalm 18:6 NLT). “Hear me as I pray, O Lord. Be merciful and answer me! My heart has heard you say, ‘Come and talk with me.’ And my heart responds, ‘Lord I am coming’” (Psalm 27:7-8 NLT). In these two passages, we see five practices we can implement in our lives as we seek to find God in our feelings, like David. 

First, acknowledge our feelings. We have to get in touch with what we are feeling - right or wrong, better or worse. If we are going to find God in our feelings, we have to start by acknowledging the feeling.
 
Second, David cried out to the Lord for help. David takes his real feelings to God. We wait too long to do that and often do not go to God until we are at our end. Instead, get in the habit of bringing our feelings to God faster. Exercise spiritual muscle and take feelings to God sooner rather than later. That became part of David’s spiritual rhythms and conversations with God.  

Third, David has confidence that his prayers are heard. David has built an established prayer life with God that he knows God is listening to him. Even when he expresses frustration and asserts, where are you God! David’s passion is born out of knowing God hears. David is honest about what he is needing from God in those moments. David is needing, waiting, and expecting God to respond.

Fourth, David sought God’s mercy. Mercy speaks of David’s reverence and understanding of the God he is conversing with. While David is real, honest, and raw, he still remembers who God is, that God doesn’t have to answer, and that God doesn’t have to do anything. It is about us making appeal to God’s character of love, compassion, and mercy for God’s children.

Fifth, David accepts God’s invitation and draws near. David accepts God’s invitation to come to God. God is always available and always wants to speak with us about whatever is going on in our lives, including feelings and emotions we may be struggling with. Perhaps you are feeling for a loved one. The practice is still the same - bring all our feelings to God and find God right there in the midst.
All our help for whatever we are feeling or dealing with, comes from the Lord.




DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
Sermon Preamble

• How do you feel about your emotions and feelings? Do you share your emotions and feelings with God even if those feelings are challenging in negative ways? Why?

David as a man of feelings

• In the Psalms examples written by David, what emotions and feelings are David expressing in his conversation with God? In your conversation with God, have you been willing to express challenging and negative feelings towards God? From the examples in this paragraph, what scripture from the Psalms written by David, if any, represents how you have felt toward God? Why?

The Disciples and Feelings

• Discuss whether you regard Thomas as an example to follow in his honesty. Why would Thomas be an example for us and not a person whose characteristics in doubting we should avoid at all costs?

Our emotions and feelings as made in the image of God

• What emotions and feelings has God and the Son of God, Jesus Christ, manifested? Since we are made in the image of God, how important is it for us to acknowledge emotions and feelings in following Jesus Christ as part of being human made in the image of God? Why?
• In what circumstances should we not trust our feelings as the source of truth?
• Engaging in a moment of self reflection, are you more often oblivious to your feelings, passionate about your feelings, or a combination of these, depending on the feelings?
• How are we to manage our feelings that are core to us and have so much influence and power in our lives?

The meanings of feelings, emotions, and mood

• Emotions, feelings, and moods are related, but not the same. What are the differences? How do emotions lead to feelings, and feelings lead to moods?
• Why should we not ignore the process of dealing with challenging and negative feelings? Which expressions have been used by people in your life to discount feelings as not worthy of needed attention?

 Learning from the Psalms in Dealing with Hard and Painful Feelings

• The message listed three lessons taught from Psalms for dealing with hard and painful feelings. What are those three lessons, and why is any of them especially significant for you in applying the lesson to your life?  

Five things to help us be real and honest with Jesus in our feelings

• The message listed five practices following the example of David in being real and honest with God and Jesus in our feelings. What are these five practices and why is any of them especially significant for you in applying the practice to your life? What spiritual practices and rhythms will help you be real and honest with Jesus in your feelings?