Finding God In Our Feelings (Lite)

April 24th, 2022
by T.J. Nichols

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_{^{Small Group Sermon Reflections (Lite)}}

Opening Prayer & Check-in
Listen Up: My Help
Scripture Texts: Psalm 18:6; 27:7-8
Sermon Preamble: Pastor Tammy began by stating that it is indeed the desire of our hearts as believers to have God speak to our hearts in order that we know what to do and where to go. She also noted that she was still basking in the overflowing joy of Resurrection Sunday. Yet, the reality of Monday morning sets in and forces us to live in the tension of the joy and happiness of Easter which then begs the question: How do we live into the resurrection and victory of Christ in the face of our realities? She offered the following Psalms from King David who was a man of deep and honest emotions:

The Disciples and Feelings

Following Jesus’ death, the disciples were huddled in fear and hiding
They are scared, confused, and angry; angry with a lot of folks, systems, and even themselves
Perhaps they were dealing with shame, especially Peter
They were dealing with feelings and then out of nowhere, Jesus appears, He just “pops in”

Wait… Where’s Thomas

Perhaps dealing with his feelings alone or perhaps bitter and just “done” with all that comes with being a follower of Jesus, especially in light of the pain and guilt
He doubts the resurrection and wants proof of Jesus being alive. Then Jesus “pops in” again and invites Thomas to touch His wounds
Not “Doubting Thomas” but “Honest Thomas”

God is a God of Emotions & Feelings

God Feels Joy (Zephaniah 3:17)
God Feels Grief (Genesis 6:6)
God Feels Anger (Deut. 29:26-27)
God Feels Hate (Proverbs 6:16)
God Feels Regret (1 Samuel 15:10-11)
God Feels Compassion (Psalms 103:13)
God Feels Loves (Jeremiah 31:3)
Jesus displayed all these emotions and while we might not understand them all in ourselves, Jesus’ demonstrated perfectly how God wants us to deal with them

David, The Man After God’s Heart

Fought Lions and Bears
Defeated a Giant
A Warrior, Leader, and King
Committed Adultery
Committed Murder
Betrayed by his own Son
Poet & Musician
Deeply Loved God

Emotions/Feeling/Moods a Primer

Emotions
- An automatic subconscious reaction that provokes physiological and physical change and is not connected to reason or logic
- Are universal extending beyond culture, gender, and other social constructs
- Are triggered by a chemical in our subconscious and often before we notice them
- The same emotion can elicit different feelings in an individual
Moods
- A state of prolonged feelings
- Mental health challenges are related and connected to our emotions, feelings and moods
- Can move us towards or away from God

Unhelpful Responses

We have each heard some, if not all of them and surprise, none of them work. In fact, the Big C church is a culprit in heaping these upon believers, we have the tendency to want to move past feeling and offer up a few scriptures to prove our point
- Get a grip
- Suck it up
- Man up
- Just deal with it
- Crying is weakness
- Get thicker skin
- Just think positive and happy thoughts
- It’s not that big of a deal, it could be worse
- Get over it
- Don’t you know how blessed you are

An Important Dashboard

Emotions are signals and our feelings are telling us something, sort of like a “Check Engine” Light.
We must learn to feel in order to heal
Emotions in this case can be but are not limited to
- Something we need to pay attention to
- Something we need to respond to
- Can point to causes to celebrate joy and embrace the moment
- Could be a plea for help

Learning From David and the Psalms

It’s okay to not be okay
Psalm 77:1-3
Psalm 13:1-2
It’s okay to feel; for we must deal (with our feelings in order) to heal
It’s okay to be real; we must own our feelings
Jesus was real with His feelings
Psalm 18:6
- In our distress we can cry out
- We can pray to the Lord for help
- He hears us from His sanctuary
Psalm 27:7
- He hears us and He is merciful
Psalm 27:8
- God calls us to come and talk with Him
- Our response should be “Lord, I am coming’

Finding God in Our Feelings Like David Did

Acknowledge the feeling; it’s okay to not be okay
Bring the real feeling to God; don’t delay, build the spiritual muscle memory of taking them to God
Trust that God hears and will respond; trust and believe that He indeed hears us when we cry out
Seek and embrace God’s mercy; revere God’s character of love, compassion, and mercy and appeal to it
Accept God’s invitation and draw near; He is ALWAYS available

Closing Thoughts & Resources
There is no one-size-fits-all response to dealing with feelings and emotions and we realize this. As a church, we are committed to helping our members and our community deal with the challenges brought on by these and other mental health related topics. With this in mind, please visit our website at www.sobcc.org/mental-wellness where we have a number of resources to assist in these areas.

In addition, as Pastor Tammy stated, she is and as a church family, we are very sensitive to the fact that these topics can be hard, and may trigger emotions and feelings for some of us. We want you to know that we have a wonderful support team in our church family including counselors, therapists, psychologists, spiritual directors, and mental health coaches who have graciously agreed to be available in various ways of support. So if you feel you need to speak to someone, please reach out to your Deacon or Elder or, you can call the church office directly and someone can assist in connecting you with the proper resource.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

Head
- Do you find it challenging to live in the tension of the joy of Resurrection Sunday and the realities of living in a fallen world? If yes, what spiritual practices do you have in place to help you navigate these challenges?
- Prior to hearing this message, what has been your thought regarding how to deal with feelings particularly as it relates to your walk with God?
- How do you really feel about your feelings and emotions in general?
- Do you believe that God is big enough to handle our doubt? Our honesty? If not, why not? If yes, what is keeping you from getting real with God and coming to Him with your feelings?
- Looking at the list of emotions and feelings which God has, are there any that surprise you? Are there ones which you want to probe further in order to gain greater insight into God’s wisdom in these areas?
- How might your prayer life come into play when dealing with feelings? Do you have a normal rhythm of conversations with God that you could share your feelings?
- Are you okay with not being okay? Please allow the lyrics of this song minister to you.
- Do you know that the God we serve understands the tension we live with when it comes to our feelings? Please allow the lyrics of this song minister to you.
Heart
- What would it look like to you to just sit in/with your feelings with God and allow Him to minister to you at the heart level? What feelings does this question conjure up for you?
- Which of the negative responses to feelings have you wrongly held on to for dealing with your feelings? Which of them have you passed on to your loved ones and at what cost?
- What spiritual practices do you have in place to serve as a warning sign that your feelings are signaling something deeper that you need to address?
- Have there been or are there times where you have ignored, stuffed, or buried your feelings rather than deal with them? Was this approach helpful or, are you needing to bring them before God, perhaps with the help of one of our resources and begin the journey of healing?
- Have there been times where you have been overcome, undone, or swept away by your feelings? Was this approach helpful or, are you needing to bring them before God, perhaps with the help of one of our resources and begin the journey of healing?
Hands

Take some time this week to take an inventory of your feelings and start to build your individual dashboard. Reflect on each of the feelings which arise and list your response to them and compare your response to how Jesus perfectly responded to those which you both experienced. Then, take them to God in prayer and if you are comfortable, share them with the group or an accountability partner as a first step in the journey to healing.

YOUTH & YOUNG ADULT

Head
- Prior to hearing this message, what has been your thought regarding how to deal with feelings particularly as it relates to your walk with God? And how do you really feel, about your feelings and emotions in general?
- Do you believe that God is big enough to handle our doubt? Our honesty? If not, why not? If yes, what is keeping you from getting real with God and coming to Him with your feelings?
- Looking at the list of emotions and feelings which God has, are there any that surprise you? Are there ones which you want to probe further in order to gain God’s insight?
- How might your prayer life come into play when dealing with feelings? Do you have a normal rhythm of conversations with God that you could share your feelings?
- Are you okay with not being okay? Please allow the lyrics of this song minister to you.
- Do you know that the God we serve understands the tension we live with when it comes to our feelings? Please allow the lyrics of this song minister to you.
Heart
- What would it look like to you to just sit in/with your feelings with God and allow Him to minister to you at the heart level? What feelings does this question conjure up for you?
- Which of the negative responses to feelings have you wrongly held on to for dealing with your feelings? Which of them have you passed on to your loved ones and at what cost?
- What spiritual practices do you have in place to serve as a warning sign that your feelings are signaling something deeper that you need to address?
- Have there been or are there times where you have ignored, stuffed, or buried your feelings rather than deal with them? Was this approach helpful or, are you needing to bring them before God, perhaps with the help of one of our resources and begin the journey of healing?
- Have there been times where you have been overcome, undone or swept away by your feelings? Was this approach helpful or, are you needing to bring them before God, perhaps with the help of one of our resources and begin the journey of healing?
Hands

Head
- Parents, share with your children that God has feelings and it is ok for them to have them.
Heart
- Share with your children any formerly held beliefs about feeling which this message has dispelled and how as a family you will follow David and Jesus’ model to deal with them.
Hands
- Spend time with family and help your children unpack their feelings and perhaps help them build their own feelings dashboard.

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