Life Reimagined - Reimagine Relationships

Copyright - South Bay Community Church
Sermon Preamble
            Let’s allow the Holy Spirit to bring to mind an incident when you felt angry, frustrated, ticked off, and maybe even hurt. Perhaps the situation or incident bubbled up into an argument or conflict, or perhaps the hurt was just in your spirit. Either way, there was a relational break. Once you have a situation in mind, hold it there because it will be your own personal illustration and application as we unpack God’s Word together today for a life reimagined. Our sermon text is: “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms” (1 Peter 4:8-10).  In this message, we are looking at the stewardship of reimagined relationships.      
 
Relationships are gifts from God that God trusts us to manage well
            A biblical way to regard stewardship and relationships is to recognize that our relationships are gifts God has given to us. This is not about using people for some purpose or gain. Our families and friends are not our own. God trusts us to manage and handle our relationships well. We are to care for and nurture relationships well; we are to bring out the best in each other. We don’t always do this very well. Relationships are precious and holy treasures given to us by God. Too often, we fail to recognize how precious the relationships are until it is too late.
            God’s Word affirms God’s desire to manage our relationships well. Love one another (John 13:34). Care for our children (Ephesians 6:4). Honor our parents (Exodus 20:12). Cherish friendships because they are sweet (Proverbs 27:9). Love our enemies (Matthew 5:43-44).
 
Relationships are hard
            Relationships are hard. We can be misunderstood, become disappointed, get hurt, be falsely accused and judged, be abused and mistreated physically and emotionally. Conflicts, arguments, and brokenness can arise both from things done to us and from things done by us. These things can erode feelings of trust, safety, support, and unconditional love. We experience broken relationships as the results of living in a broken world.
            Sometimes, relationship breakdowns are repaired, and we move forward stronger and better than ever. Other times, relationship breakdowns go underground, without talking about it. We realize that the relationship is not as strong or healthy as it could be. Still other times, relationships get so damaged that they never really recover.
            God’s vision for relationships is hard. We cannot do it on our own; we need the Holy Spirit to manage relationships and to align them with God’s vision.
             
God has another vision for reimagined relationships
            God repeatedly reminds us to love one another. Jesus commands us to love each other as Jesus has love you (John 15:12). The Psalmist writes, how blessed it is when we dwell together in unity (Psalm 133:1). Every fruit of the spirit applies to our relationships: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22).    
            Broken relationships are not God’s desire for us. Jesus is very clear that we are to love God and love our neighbors. Broken relationships impede what God wants to do in us and through us. Impeding God’s mission, broken relationships give God’s enemy a foothold to sabotage what God wants to do in the world. It is hard to be in sync with God’s mission when we are distracted by anger, hurt, frustration, and the un-forgiveness of broken relationships.
            Jesus said, “So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift” (Matthew 5:23-24). Jesus did not just say if we have something against someone (although Jesus does also say that in Mark 11:25). In Matthew’s text, Jesus indicates that even if our brother or sister has something against us, we are to take the initiative and seek to make things right.
            That is how important our relationships are to God. God is entrusting us to care well for all relationships from friend to foe! “Relationships Reimagined” replaces our natural human tendencies so that we can align with God’s vision for relationships.
The framework of our Biblical definition of Stewardship for reimagining relationships
            Our biblical stewardship definition is trusting in the promises of God, to deploy the resources of God, to accomplish the mission of God, for the glory of God. For stewarding reimagined relationships, there is a promise of God we can trust, there is a resource we can deploy for the mission of God we are to accomplish for the glory of God.

The Mission that Glorifies God is reimagined relationships aligned with God’s vision
            God’s mission is about relationships. The reason Jesus came was to restore the broken relationship between God and humanity. God’s mission is about loving people and this world in a way that reflects and restores God’s Kingdom. God’s mission redeems what was broken and lost when Adam and Eve chose to go their own way. God’s mission is about restoring God’s Kingdom with God’s love, peace, justice, goodness, and kindness. These are examples present in this world through us until Jesus returns to bring fully God’s Kingdom on earth as it is in heaven. When we reimagine relationships aligned with God’s vision, and seek kindness, reconciliation, and unity wherever there is brokenness, we are in step with the mission of God.
            When we are about the business of loving God and loving neighbor, we are manifesting the Kingdom of God to a world that is longing to see and experience such love. We are on God’s mission . When we truly love others as God commands, the world is attracted by what they see. Those who don’t know God take notice. Like a moth to a flame, they are drawn to Jesus by our love. Jesus says, “A new command I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love one for another” (John 13:34-35). People know when the love we profess is real, and they also know when it is not real. When we live into reimagined relationships, the mission of God is accomplished, and God is glorified. Of course, we will not solve all the relationship ills of this world. All things won’t be made right this side of heaven, but love ultimately conquers evil. As we choose to reimagine relationships with God’s vision, God’s mission to heal a broken world goes forward, and God is glorified.

The resource to deploy for the Mission of God is love in action
            What does love look like in action? What love resource has God given us to deploy for reimagined relationships? The Apostle Peter writes, “The end of all things is near. Therefore, be alert and of sober mind so that you may pray. Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms” (1 Peter 4:8-10). The Apostle Peter is giving words of instruction and encouragement. He is writing to the early church facing tremendous persecution, and they are suffering. The 1st Century followers believed Jesus’ return was imminent. Peter is giving instruction on how they are to live in these last days while waiting for the return of Jesus. These last days apply to us, as well, because we also are waiting for Jesus’ return.
            Notice what Peter highlights as priorities in these last days before Jesus’ return. Be alert and of sober mind so that you may pray. Prayer is about our relationship with God in staying connected, in tune, and aligned with God the Father. Then Peter says above all, love each other deeply. To love each other deeply is about relationship with one another. We have established how important those relationships are to God.   
            To love each other deeply is to love with intentionality. Since love heals, forgives, reconciles, and unites, love does indeed cover a multitude of sins. When we reimagine our relationships, love is the core; it is the foundation and the cement.

Be stewards also of God’s Grace deploying spiritual gifts
            The Apostle Peter tells the early church family that they are to be stewards of God’s grace in its various forms. The spiritual gift of hospitality is an example of a gift we are to use to serve others as faithful stewards of God’s grace. Peter then mentions other spiritual gifts. “If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To Him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen” (1 Peter 4:12). Using our spiritual gifts and abilities to serve one another is a way to love deeply. Our spiritual gifts are a resource we can deploy to accomplish the mission of God for the glory of God in reimagined relationships. We can lovingly serve one another with our gifts. When we accept Jesus and become part of God’s family, God gives each of us, at least one, special ability or spiritual gift we are to share with others as part of God’s mission. Gifts include serving, hospitality, helping, teaching, caring for others, showing mercy, leading, giving, administering, encouraging, and many more that the Holy Spirit enables us to do for the glory of God. God gives us these resources to deploy for accomplishing God’s mission. We are to use these gifts to serve one another, deploying them to accomplish the mission of God in reimagining relationships for the glory of God.
            Let’s look again at verse 10. We are to serve as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms. Typically, we focus on spiritual gifts as the manifestation of God’s grace. The principle is much broader. Spiritual gifts are just one expression of God’s grace.

Grace defined as God’s unmerited and abundant favor
            We define grace as unmerited favor. Favor is God’s goodness, kindness, and blessings towards us including the ultimate sacrifice Jesus made for us because of God’s love. This favor is unmerited, undeserved, and unwarranted. Grace says we should not receive it, but we do. God’s unmerited and undeserved favor is a manifestation of God’s unconditional and boundless love for us. Grace is God’s love applied, as a healing, restorative, and lavishly loving balm that draws us close to God.
            God’s grace is abundant; there is no limit to God’s expression of grace. God’s goodness, mercy, kindness, patience, forgiveness are all freely given to us and all undeserved, unearned, and unmerited. They are bestowed upon us simply because God loves us so much. By God’s grace, we are called, saved, sustained, daily forgiven, gifted, blessed, cared for, and invited to partner with God on mission. One day we will join with and enjoy God forever, all by God’s grace. God’s grace is a never-ending flood of blessing and goodness towards us. “Far from his fullness, we have all received grace upon grace” (John 1:16). And God is able to make all grace abound toward you, that you, always having all sufficiency in all things, may have an abundance of every good work” (2 Corinthians 9:8). Whatever God is giving or doing, God does so by God’s grace.
            Just like every other resource and gift God gives to us, grace is meant to be shared. Grace is to be deployed to accomplish the mission of God. Grace is a key resource for reimagining relationships. Since God has so bountifully and generously given grace to us, grace is the same resource we can deploy to reimagine relationships that glorify God. 

Grace deployed: DIR as Description, Interpretation, and Response
            Grace is an attitude, a disposition, a renewed mindset of compassion and love. It is not something we check off as having already done, but rather it is a way of living in the Kingdom of God.
We make interpretations of what we perceive to be true based on past experiences, expectations, and assumptions. As we view something, our first impressions may give an inaccurate picture of what is happening. Practicing the three steps of DIR helps us to slow down before drawing conclusions.
            In the three steps of DIR, the “D” stands for Description. Description goes beyond what appears to be true, but ascertains just the facts of what is seen, without giving any meaning. In DIR, the “I” stands for Interpretation. Interpretation is the meaning we give to those facts; the interpretations we conclude often can differ for the same facts. In DIR, the “R” stands for our response to the interpretation of the facts.
            In the DIR process, we can recognize that we interpreted the facts incorrectly. We can embrace that there could be another interpretation, or another way of doing it, or another perspective. Then we can acknowledge that we do not really know. We can give the benefit of doubt, and deploy grace.
            Sometimes, we make assumptions so quickly that lead us down a path that may be completely wrong. DIR invites us to hold judgement. It gives us more time to allow another interpretation to bubble up. We can deploy grace when we may think we know, but the truth is that often we do not know.
           
Recognize that there is often more to the story of others that we do not know, so we deploy grace
            Recognizing that there is more to the story is especially helpful for personality conflicts and clashes. In our relationships, sometimes we rub each other wrong, or we seem disconnected. No matter how hard you try, you can’t seem to do or say the right thing with this person. Their choices and behaviors make no sense to you, and it is a source of frustration or tension. Often, again there is a story under the story. With psychological wounds, or areas that have hurt us or trigger us, we have a story under the story that has us to be who we are today. When things collide in relationships, we are sometimes hitting an area of sensitivity or brokenness in them or in us. In those situations, we can deploy grace – the same unmerited favor that God extends to us. Let God’s healing do its work. Loving grace covers a multitude of sins.
            Deploying grace does not mean anything goes. We need boundaries and relational health. Sometimes, deploying grace means the relationship needs to change, and we love differently from a distance. We still talk about it, try to understand each other, and try to resolve the issue. However, deploying grace means I will still love you even if I do not understand you. Since we recognize that there’s more to the story that we may or may not know, we practice deploying grace. So far, we have unlocked deploying grace when we don’t know enough and give the benefit of doubt to align with Jesus’ love.

Deploy grace and give grace because we have received grace
            We should deploy grace also because we have received grace from God. We should remember and meditate on the grace we have received. We, ourselves, are not worthy. Jesus did it all, paid for it all, gave his life for us all. It is God’s grace toward us. As we meditate on God’s grace toward us, how can we not show grace to someone else? As we deploy grace, broken relationships begin to heal.
            We live in unity and love one another as Jesus commanded, so the world would be drawn to a relationship with God and God’s family through us. God has given us the abundant resource of grace to be deployed for God’s mission. When we deploy grace, we reimagine relationships because through God’s grace, grace heals, grace restores, grace unites, and grace brings people to God.

God’s Promises and Grace
            We can only do these because God continues to supply us with grace, the resource we need for reimagined relationships. God is in our midst. God is a healer of broken relationships. God provides grace needed to heal relationships. God, not people, meets our deepest need. God will supply all our needs when we let God do so.  Our relationship with God is the perfect relationship. Hear the promises of God: “And God said, ‘I will never leave you; never will I forsake you.’” (Hebrews 13:5). “Jesus said, ‘and surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.’” (Matthew 28:20b).
            For the living application to your life, you are invited to reimagine the relationship that came to your mind this morning.    

Grace and the Church
            We are the adopted family of God, and we need each other. The church is where we get to learn and grow in the practice of deploying grace. Our commitment to one another is different from the world and different from the biological family. The family of God keeps working God’s Mission.
                                               
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
Sermon Preamble
-Without compromising your privacy or a relationship that is too painful, what relationship did the Holy Spirit bring to mind? What will you do differently as the personal illustration and application of this message for a reimagined relationship?
Relationships are gifts from God that God trusts us to manage well
-In what relationships, if any, are you using people for some purpose or gain without any of God’s desires to manage relationships well, such as loving one another, caring for family, cherishing friends, or loving enemies? How would you reimagine such relationships whether friend or foe?
Relationships are hard
-What broken relationship(s) from things done to us or things done by us need the Holy Spirit to manage and align with God’s vision?
God has another vision for reimagined relationships
-Why is it important for you, as a follower of Jesus, when another has something against you for you to take the initiative to first go and be reconciled?  
The Mission that Glorifies God is reimagined relationships aligned with God’s vision
-How is the Mission of God to bring others into the family of God impacted by the followers of Christ exhibiting mutual love?
The resource to deploy for the Mission of God is love in action
-What does the resource of love in action look like? What priorities does the Apostle Peter highlight for believers, like us, waiting for the return of Jesus? Why is it so important to pray and love one another?
Be stewards also of God’s Grace deploying spiritual gifts
-What are examples of spiritual gifts given to believers to love deeply in serving one another?
Grace defined as God’s unmerited and abundant favor
-Why is it important that God calls us, saves us, sustains us, forgives us, gifts us, blesses us, cares for us, and invites us to partner with God on mission all by grace because God love us? Why should we deploy grace to others since we receive abundant grace?
Grace deployed: DIR as Description, Interpretation, and Response
-What are the potential benefits from the process of Description, Interpretation, and Response (DIR)?
Recognize that there is often more to the story of others that we do not know, so we deploy grace
Why is deploying grace in a relationship so important when we do not know the other’s whole story?  

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