The Gift of Darkness and Trauma

Copyright: South Bay Community Church
Sermon Reflections: The Gift of Darkness and Trauma
Date: 7th May 2023
Speaker: Lead Pastor Tammy Long
Sermon Resources
Sermon Preamble
            As we continue our sermon series on The Gift of Darkness, this message explores the impact of trauma in our lives. Everyone has a trauma history. It may be what we call a big T trauma, like a life threatening experience, domestic violence, painful abuse, a natural disaster, or an accident. Or it may be a small “t” trauma that is a bad experience, and maybe we would not even call it a trauma. Mental health professionals report that we experience much more trauma than we typically recognize or report as trauma. We experience secondary or tertiary trauma when we witness something that unsettles us, or we hear a traumatic story that impacts us. We also experience collective trauma like during the COVID pandemic and the murder of George Floyd. The more we become aware and process our trauma, the healthier we will be. Otherwise, it is a darkness or wound that resides within us and impacts us in ways we may not even be aware of. Sometimes, it is hard to remember that God is your present help by your side in the darkness when you are in shock from trauma.

Deep breathing practices in intake of scripture and our emotional, spiritual responses
            We take more than 8 million breaths a year, but most are not deep breathing. We should deep breathe more often because the benefits of deep breathing are God’s gifts to us. Deep breathing helps with anxiety, depression, managing stress, improving focus, improved sleep, and faster recovery from exercise or exertion.
In one deep breathing spiritual practice, you place one hand on your belly and one hand on your heart. Then inhale and breathe in deeply through your nose so that your belly expands and your heart is still. Then exhale and breathe out through your nose.
            In this message, as we go to God’s Word, we will be exploring God’s gift of darkness and trauma. If you feel anxious or triggered during this message, please do deep breathing and let the very breath of God, the Holy Spirit, bring you comfort and peace.
            Let’s practice deep breathing, as the Holy Spirit, the breath of God, provides comfort and peace as we read our first scripture text for this message, Psalm 147:3-5. Inhale: “3He heals the brokenhearted” Exhale: “and bandages their wounds.” Inhale: “4He counts the stars,” Exhale: “and calls them all by name” Inhale: 5“How great is our Lord” Exhale: His power is absolute! Inhale: “His understanding” Exhale: “is beyond comprehension.”
           
From our body’s viewpoint, all traumas are physical as well as emotional
            Trauma can also be the lens by which we see the world if we are not aware of trauma’s impact on us.
    Traumas start with an event that triggers a flight, fight, freeze, or fawn response. Often before we can even interpret what is happening, during a frightening, life-threatening, or integrity threatening event, our bodies go into action. Fear races up our spinal cord and activates a complex system of brain signals that help us respond like animals. When we feel threatened, we respond in fear to fight, to flee, to take flight, or to
freeze.
            Sometimes, we learn about past traumatic experiences not by our memories of traumatic events, but by what is happening physiologically in our bodies. We may experience cold or sweaty hands, an increased pulse, feeling anxiety, stomach issues, a higher pitched voice, or body tremors. These are all physical responses of a threat that can live on in the body and be triggered again. These triggers impact our relationships, our communication, and our sense of wellness and health.
 
The darkness of trauma can challenge one’s faith in God
            In the darkness of trauma, questions can arise. Where was or is God? How could God allow this to happen? Where is the love of a supposedly loving Heavenly Father? These are hard questions when we are suffering and in pain. We may be limping, broken, and groping in the darkness. We may be frightened, feeling out of control, or feeling unsafe. It is hard to remember that God is by your side in the darkness when you are in shock.

Reading the Bible through the perspective of trauma
            The areas of psychology and mental health have dived deeper into trauma, trauma recovery, and trauma-informed care. Similarly, theologians and biblical scholars take a deep dive to look at the Bible through the lens of trauma. The lens of trauma helps us to read scripture with fresh insight and understanding of God’s Word, relevant and reliable to us.
            An example of the lens of trauma helping us read scripture accounts is the story of Joseph, the teen age boy with the coat of many colors.

This simplified children’s version of Joseph’s story focuses on positive character and behavior         
            Even for adults, the Joseph story is sometimes presented like a fairy tale, a moral lesson focused on positive character and behavior. Let’s view a video of Joseph’s story written for teaching children, but with adult significance.
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1fl_R27sWS6gJAsACYUnO7h8VTO5kjLap/view?usp=drivesdk.
            Sometimes, we have this moral lesson in our minds. We think we know the biblical account, so we don’t go back to read it again. There is much more to the biblical account of Joseph. Therefore, it is so important to keep reading our Bibles.
            The Joseph story is from pit to palace and from rags to riches. Joseph is often portrayed by teachers as an arrogant teen that enraged his brothers with his dreams. As an adult, he became a leader wherever he was placed in Egypt. He resisted temptation and did not succumb to adultery. Even when he was wrongfully accused and unjustly punished, Joseph stayed faithful to God. He manifested God-given insight by interpreting dreams. Joseph also manifested God-given administrative gifts when he became second in command to Pharaoh. Joseph responded to evil with good when his brothers came in need. Yes, we can learn from Joseph’s strength of character and positive behaviors.

God’s gifts in the darkness: Joseph’s brokenness and journey from trauma to healing
            The biblical account of Joseph spans Genesis chapters 37 through 50. Through the lens of trauma, let’s briefly revisit Joseph’s story. Joseph’s journey to recovery and healing is God’s gift in the darkness.  This is also our journey and gift in the darkness to see the way God heals and redeems trauma.
            We need to be real and declare that Joseph experienced trauma. There was a pre-meditated plot to murder Joseph. Although the plan changed, he was physically attacked, stripped of his robe, and thrown into a waterless cistern. Then on the same day, he was sold into slavery. Real trauma!
            All of this was done by his brothers, his family, that he was supposed to be able to trust! Betrayal by family is among the most painful of betrayals with the deepest wounds from trauma.
            Sometimes, the way this story is taught, Joseph’s trauma is his own fault. Under this viewpoint, the traumas would not have happened if Joseph did not brag about his dreams of his brothers bowing to him.
            Viewing your trauma as your own fault can be your trauma experience as well. You can be made to feel like what happened to you was your fault. Many survivors struggle with shame and guilt. As part of their healing, they have to recognize and embrace that it was not their fault.  Trauma victims are not to blame themselves for what happened. It never should have happened.
            No matter what Joseph did, being kidnapped, stripped, thrown into a pit, and sold was not his fault. Joseph was a victim and a survivor. Joseph and his family are forever impacted and changed by what happened to him.

The 4 stages of trauma recovery
            Judith Herman, a psychiatrist and Harvard professor, outlined a framework for stages in trauma recovery. Stage 1 is safety. Stage 2 is remembrance. Stage 3 is mourning. Stage 4 is reconnecting with ordinary life. These stages are helpful in applying to Joseph’s journey as we consider God in the process of trauma and recovery. God heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds. God is present in the darkness of trauma. God offers us the gift of darkness.

The first stage of trauma recovery is safety
            Safety is essential, because if people feel unsafe or in danger, they cannot begin to heal. Safety is multi-faceted. There is embodied safety, which includes physical and emotional safety. There is also environmental safety which includes the feeling of having control over one’s environment to ensure safety.
            Joseph was dealing with trauma for a long period of time, and then was traumatized again. For a long time, his safety was not secure. Beginning with what his brothers did, to being given to traders, to becoming a slave in Egypt, Joseph was subjected to new places, new cultures, new customs, and new ways of doing things. He was far from his family and far from his spiritual center and connection. His life was not his own, and he was unable to protect himself and had no control over what happened to him. In today’s society, this feeling is familiar to African Americans. This is trauma with a capital “T.” Joseph could not begin to process what happened to him, and he could not begin the journey of deeper healing. He was trying to survive in every way because he was not yet safe. This lack of safety lasted many years.
            After his brothers sold Joseph into slavery, the Bible records that the Lord was with Joseph, he began to prosper, and found favor with Potiphar (Genesis 39:1-6). We can surmise that Joseph was beginning to feel some stability and safety. But then Joseph is sexually assaulted by Potiphar’s wife and victimized. Then Potiphar’s wife wrongfully accused him and Joseph is victimized again. This is trauma upon trauma! The narrator of Joseph’s story does not mention the emotions or feelings of Joseph. Perhaps Joseph’s emotional state of trauma and suffering is too hard to acknowledge or express. As one writer stated, “Traumatic events shatter an old normal and can often create inexpressible suffering in their wake – suffering that is sometimes too hard to express.”
            For healing to begin requires safety. As you or someone you are walking with experience trauma, the priority response is to create a safe space. A safe space physically, emotionally, and environmentally allows us to regain a sense of control and take the first steps for the healing journey. In that journey, God is present offering the ultimate spiritual safety, for God has the last Word. Physical, emotional, and environmental safety must be offered first. This is similar to giving food to a starving person before talking to them about Jesus. It is hard to become aware of Jesus’ presence in the darkness when you do not feel safe.

The second stage of trauma recovery is remembrance
               Those who experience trauma process what happened to them through telling the story. For example, Joseph interpreted the cupbearer’s dream that the cupbearer would be released from prison. Then Joseph said: “And please remember me and do me a favor when things go well for you. Mention me to Pharaoh, so he might let me out of this place. For I was kidnapped from my homeland, the land of the Hebrews, and now I’m her in prison, but I did nothing to deserve it” (Genesis 40: 14-15).
              When his two sons were born, Joseph remembered his traumas and that God had been present with him in his darkness: “During this time, before the first of the famine years, two sons were born to Joseph and his wife Asenath, the daughter of Potiphera, the priest of On. Joseph named his older son Manasseh, for he said, ‘God has made me forget all my troubles and everyone in my father’s family.’ Joseph named his second son Ephraim, for the said, ‘God has made me fruitful in this land of my grief’” (Genesis 41:50-52).
            The biblical writer of Joseph’s story saw God’s presence even before Joseph stated it. Four times, the writer comments that God was with Joseph. As we are walking with people healing from trauma, we are a gentle witness to God in their lives, even when they cannot see God working.
            Joseph’s remembrance for healing makes a “full circle” when his brothers come to Egypt. “8Although Joseph recognized his brothers, they didn’t recognize him. 9And he remembered the dreams he’d had about them many years before. He said to them, ‘You are spies! You have come to see how vulnerable our land has become.’” (Genesis 42:8-9).
            It appears that Joseph is flooded with feelings that are perhaps triggered by seeing them. Joseph initially treats them harshly. He accuses them of being spies as they protest, and he puts them in prison for three days. Later he releases them but demands they bring their youngest brother back to Egypt, or they will die. This is often interpreted that Joseph is testing them.  However, through a trauma lens, much more is happening. Joseph’s traumatic emotions were remembered when his brothers arrived. Joseph had mixed emotions of hurt, anger, wanting revenge, as well as looking for signs of remorse. Joseph’s brothers are right there, and he remembers.
            Remembrance and telling your story is an essential part of recovery and healing. Otherwise, the traumatic experience gets pushed down as deep darkness. It will find other ways to ooze out in our relationships, in our behaviors, in our addictions, in our communications, and in our mental health. Remembrance and telling our story is a gift in the darkness, because it is the path to freedom, healing and wellness. God is present to hear and to heal as you remember and tell your story to someone you can trust to hold it and be present in safety with you.

The third stage of trauma recovery is mourning
            Mourning is processing emotionally and grieving what has been lost. Until his brother came to Egypt, we had not seen Joseph’s emotions. We know Joseph has already begun processing and healing from what had happened to him. He enters the next stage of trauma recovery, mourning, and tears fall.
            Joseph overhears his brothers: “Speaking among themselves, they said, ‘Clearly we are being punished because of what we did to Joseph long ago. We saw his anguish when he pleaded for his life, but we wouldn’t listen. That’s why we’re in this trouble’” (Genesis 42:21). “Of course, they didn’t know that Joseph understood them, for he had been speaking to them through an interpreter. Now he turned away from them and began to weep….Then he chose Simeon from among them and had him tied up right before their eyes” (Genesis 42:23-24). Joseph chose Simeon to stay behind and he sent the other brothers back to get Benjamin, his younger brother.
            The scripture reveals Joseph’s emotions when he finally sees Benjamin: “Then Joseph hurried from the room because he was overcome with emotion for his brother. He went into his private room where he broke down and wept” (Genesis 43:30). Right before Joseph reveals to his brothers who he really is: “Joseph could stand it no longer. There were many people in the room, and he said to his attendants, ‘Out, all of you!’ So he was alone with his brothers when he told them who he was. Then he broke down and wept. He wept so loudly the Egyptians could hear him, and word of it quickly carried to Pharaoh’s palace” (Genesis 45:1-2).  
            There are likely many reasons Joseph was crying. Reading scripture through the lens of trauma, Joseph is aware of how much he has lost. There are mixed and bittersweet tears of healing and forgiveness. Joseph was happy to be reunited with his family. He is happy to hear how his brothers have grown. He is happy to see his youngest brother Benjamin. He may be jealous that his other brothers never cared for him that way. He is mourning the years lost in being with his family. He is mourning all that had happened that got them where they were. Joseph’s grief is real and is a part of his healing from the trauma he has experienced.
            There can be all kinds of losses when trauma occurs, including loss of innocence, loss of relationships, loss of mobility or health, and loss of what was supposed to have been. Remembrance and mourning are part of healing. As we walk with those who are or have experienced trauma, we can create safe spaces for them to mourn by just being present to let them grieve. God is also present in the darkness.
 
 
The fourth and last stage of trauma recovery is reconnecting with ordinary life
            After mourning, the traumatized self becomes a new self. Joseph has become a blend of Egyptian and Hebrew cultures. Joseph reconnects with his family, his Hebrew identity, and his spiritual roots. Although he reconnects with his family, he keeps his power as an Egyptian leader. He has an Egyptian wife and bi-cultural children.
            It is a gift from God to give meaning and redeem the horrible things that happen. Joseph recognized that his traumas were redeemed and used by God. This is evident when Joseph says: “You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people” (Genesis 50:20).
            Joseph was aware of how God redeemed his traumatic experience. God placed him in the exact place needed to survive and prepare for the coming famine. The trauma recovery provided for Egypt, the surrounding nations, and God’s people for the glory of God.
            Often, trauma redeemed becomes the life mission of the redeemed survivor of trauma. Sometimes, people who have had deeply traumatic experiences go on to work in organizations or serve in ministries that deal with the same or related traumas. They use their traumatic events to create good in the world. This helps them and also prevents such trauma from happening to others. With trauma redeemed and healed, we can come along side and be present with those who are hurting, just as God is present with us.
           
God does not cause trauma; God redeems trauma; we have free will for good and for evil
            It was not God’s Will for Joseph to experience such trauma. Similarly, abuse and violence are not God’s Will. These things are opposed to God’s Will. Some may say that God should have or could have prevented trauma. This would mean that God would have to violate the free will God has given us. As long as we are in this broken world, free will goes both ways. We have free will for good and free will for evil.
            When evil prevails, it breaks God’s heart. So God comes to us. God abides with us. God walks beside us. God is the present help in times of darkness. God knows in this world we will have trouble. God has overcome the world. God can “flip evil on its head” and thwart the schemes of the evil one. God will have the last word. All the while, God is present with us in the darkness.

The recovery process, like with Joseph, can take time
            At age 17, Joseph was sold into slavery. Thirteen years later, at age 30, Joseph begins serving Pharaoh. Seventeen years later, at age 39, Joseph is reunited with his brothers. Seventeen years later, Jacob, Joseph’s father, dies and is buried in Canaan.    
             
Jesus Christ emphasizes his ministry for trauma redemption 
            Jesus said that these passages in Isaiah speak about Him. “The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is upon me, for the lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor. He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted and to proclaim that captives will be released and prisoners will be freed” (Isaiah 61:1-2).
            “God has sent me to tell those who mourn that the time of the Lord’s favor has come, and with it, the day of God’s anger against their enemies. To all who mourn in Israel, he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair. In their righteousness, they will be the great oaks that the Lord has planted for his own glory” (Isaiah 61:3).
             “He (Jesus) rolled up the scroll, handed it back to the attendant, and sat down. All eyes in the synagogue looked at him intently. Then he began to speak to them. “The Scripture you’ve just heard has been fulfilled this very day!” (Luke 4: 20-21).

The metaphor of planting a seed  
            Let’s consider the seed we planted and its life journey. Nineteen days ago it was planted in darkness and now is growing well in God’s light. Sometimes, when you are in a dark place, you think you have been buried, but you’ve actually been planted!

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS INCLUDING FOR USE IN FAMILY GROUP

Sermon Preamble
-In what ways can trauma that you experience impact your relationships, your communications, or your sense of wellness and health?

Deep breathing practices in intake of scripture and our emotional, spiritual responses
-How can the spiritual practice of deep breathing remind you that the Holy Spirit, the breath of God, is in you?
-In what ways does deep breathing provide you peace, comfort, and a deeper understanding of the biblical Word of God?

From our body’s viewpoint, all traumas are physical as well as emotional
-In what ways has your body physically responded to trauma? When you experience these physiological responses, how can this help you become aware of and recognize your trauma experience?

The darkness of trauma can challenge one’s faith in God
-As you experience shock in the darkness of trauma, what helps you remember that God is present and by your side?

Reading the Bible through the perspective of trauma
-What biblical accounts that you have read involve responses to trauma? What is the importance of reading these biblical passages through the lens of trauma?

The simplified version of Joseph’s story focused on positive character and behavior
-What is a simplified interpretation of the biblical account of Joseph focused on his positive character and behaviors, not through the lens of intense trauma?
-Why is it important to keep reading our Bibles even when we think we know the story?
God’s gifts in the darkness: Joseph’s brokenness and journey from trauma to healing
-In what ways is Joseph’s journey to recovery and healing from trauma also your journey as God heals and redeems trauma as a gift to you in darkness?
-In what circumstances is there an attempt in our society to erroneously blame the victim experiencing trauma?

The first stage of trauma recovery is safety
-As you or someone else is experiencing trauma, in what ways can you offer physical, emotional, and environmental safety as the first priority?

The second stage of trauma recovery is remembrance
-Why is remembrance and telling your story to someone you can trust and be present with you an essential part of recovery and healing?
-As part of the healing does the process include mixed emotions such as hurt, anger, wanting revenge, and seeking remorse?
-How important is the presence of God and any trusted person in helping you through the healing process from trauma?

The third stage of trauma recovery is mourning
-In his trauma recovery, Joseph mourned from the many losses in his life journey from traumatic experiences. When you have trauma, how important is it to acknowledge your feelings of grief? Why?

The fourth and last stage of trauma recovery is reconnecting with ordinary life
-In what circumstances have you seen God redeem your traumatic experience into a mission for your life journey?

God does not cause trauma; God redeems trauma; we have free will for good and for evil
-Why is it important to understand that God gives free will for us to choose good or evil?

The process, like with Joseph, can take time
-What has been your experience that redemption and healing from trauma takes considerable time?

Jesus Christ emphasizes his ministry for trauma redemption 
-In what ways does the ministry of Jesus Christ include trauma redemption and healing?

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12:21 Romans 12:2 Romans 12 Romans 16: Romans 16 Romans 5:8 Romans 6:3-5 Romans 8:18-25 Romans 8:23-25 Romans 8:26-27 Romans 8:28 Romans 8 Romans9 Roman Sabbath Sacred Pathways Samaritan Sanctify Sarah Sarai Satan Sensate Shabbat Shepherds Simon Social media Soloman Solomon Spiritual Renewal Spirit St. Ignatius Stand Stanford Start in Epistles Start in Gospels Stay Connected Steward Supreme Court Tax collectors Thank Offering Thank The Chosen Thurman Trump Tyre Nichols Unity Uvalde Walk in Obedience When God Disappoints Word of God Word Worldly Hope Your Divine Love Story Zechariah 4:1-6 Zechariah 9:9 Zechariah Zerubbabel abortion abundance abundunt abuse acceptance accept accountability partner accountability acknowledge action activate activist adopted adoration adultery affliction afirmative action afraid agenda alabaster alive all hands on deck all is well alone already not yet altar amen amnesia angel anger angry animals anniversary annoint anointing anoint anticipate anticipating anxiety appeal application apply argue armor of God armor ascetic ask people assemble assign attribute augustus authoritarian government awareness baby back to the future bad news banquet baptize basketball battle be still beggars belief beloved community belt of truth benefit biblical birthday birth blame God blessings blessing bless blind blood boast body broken body bold witness boldness bold bondage book born again bread breastplate of righteousness breath broken brother build community build relationships calling from God calling call cancer caregiver care caring carol celebrate center challenges challenge character cherish child birth childlike faith childlike children child choice choose chosen people chosen church trouble church cicumcise cistern close to God close cloud collective action comfort zones comforting comfort coming Kingdom of God commitment common communicate communion community support community compassion fatigue compassion competent conception concern confess confidant confidence confident conflict confuse connection connect consecrate consequence consistent contemplation contemplative prayer contemplative context of verse conversation convict correction correct cost courage covenant coworkers create human created creation crippled crisis cross identity barriers crossroads cross crucify cry cultural pride culture barriers cup curiosity curious custom daily dance dancing darkness dark day of Jesus Christ day ddarkness deafness deaf death debate debt deconstruction deepen deism deist delay deliver us democracy demon denominations dependent describe desensitization desire desperate devil die differences difficult dignity direct disciples disciple disconnect discontent disease distract distress disunity diverse voices do for others do justice door doubt dream each other eat elder elevate embody embrace distraction embrace joy embrace emotion need emotions empathy encourage enemy enjoy present enthusiast environment essentials esteem eternal life eternal ethic ethnocentrism evaluate everyone evil exercise exile expect expression external extraordinary life face of God factions faithfull faithful faith fall short family famine fasting fast fatigue fault favor fawn fear feast feelings feel fellowship fervor fight finance financial need first fitness flight flocks focus follower forewarn forgiveness forgive fornicate fortress foster care crisis free gift free will freeze friends friend fruitful fruit fulfillment full life fullness future hope future gate generation generosity generous gentle parenting gentle genuine giant gifts gift give glory godliness good news good works good grace graduate grateful great commandment great commission greater gift greed grief grieve groan grumbling guarantee guilt hallowed hand hard heart harmony hate healing community healing prayer healing health need health heal heart helmet of salvation help heterosexual hidden figure hidden hide from God high priestly prayer history holy day holy nation holy space holy homeless homosexual honor one another honor hope hospitality hot topics human heart human humble humility hurricane hurting people hypocriite hypocrite iceberg idenity ill in heaven incense indignant inequality inheritance initiate injustice inner life inner peace inside intercede internalize Jesus internal interpret intervention interview intimacy with God intimate with God into arms inttellectual investment invite isolation jail jars journey joyous joy judgement justice just key kill knowing God know lamb. lament lame last days lead us learn legacy life in Kingdom of God life with power and purpose lifeline lifelong lifestyle lifetime life limiting belief listen living into prayer living sacrifice living loneliness lonely look lord lost love enemies love mercy love neighbors love neighbor love relationship of trust God love through difficulty love loving relationship loving low income luke 19 luke 24 manger marginalized marriage masterpiece master meek memory mercy messiah millenial mind miracle misconception miss the mark mission misunderstand reality misuse mockery model prayer monarch money moral excellence moral mother character mother motive mourn movement multiply music mute mystery myths name nard nation trouble nationalist natural nature near God new life nonessentials not fear not hate not shrink back notice nurture obedience obey observe offering oil older olive trees omnipotent omnipresent omniscient oneness one open opposition oppressed oppress ordinary life other overshadow overwhelmed pain palm panic parable parents participation partner passion for life passion path patient patriot peacemaker peace peculiar people persecution persevere personal invitation personal love from God perspective petitions physical abuse physical healing physical plans plant seed plan pleasing plural you politic poor power of God power of worship power slource power source power practical steps for maturing believers practical steps for unbelievers praise pray for lost prayer pray pre-existance pregnant preparation prepare presence present with us present preserve prevention preview priest prince principle priority prisoner prison pro-choice problem prodical promise salvation promise promotion proof prophecy prophet protection protect providence provide provision psychic numbing punish purpose pursue herarts sing quarrels quarrel questions question racism radiance reactions rebuild rebutting receipt receive reconcile reconciliation reconnect reconsruction redeem reflect regeneration reign reimagine rejection rejoice relationships relationship relation relative truth release remember rememer remnant remourse repay repent repetition reputation reread bible resist resolution resource respect response restoration restore rest resurrection reveal revelation revolution rich riddle ridicule righteousness righteous risk rooted root royal priest sacred sacrifice sad safety safe salt salvation same sex marriage sanctify save savior science and bible scribe scripture searcher self exam selfish selfless self send me senses sentiment separation from God serve with humility serve sexism sex share sharing Gospel shepherd staff shepherd shield of faith shoes of peace sick man at pool silence silent simple simplicity sing sins sin slave sleep sling social justice society solid gold lampstand solidarity solitude song son sorrow soul friend soul on fire soul sounds sovereign God sovereign speak spiritual blind spiritual discipline spiritual gifts spiritual journey spiritual leader spiritual practices spiritual rebirth spiritually grow spiritual stable stake standing stone storm story strategic strength stress struggle success sudden suffering suffer suicide summer sabbatical supernatual supernatural support surprise surrender to God dailyer surrender to God daily surrender survivor sword of the spirit take me talents tax collector tears technology temple temptation testimony tests test thank thick thieves and robbers think thorn thought throne timeless time timing together tomb town trade traditionalist tradition transform generations transform heart transformation transform transfpr transition trauma treasure trial tribalism tribulation troubled times trust God trust Jesus trust truth point to Gospel truth turn around ultrasound unbelief uncomfortable unconcerned unconditional love understand unexpected united unity with God universe unpleasable unreasonable unreliable urge use me validate values vegetarian verbal abuse vibes victim village violence vision visit prison voice vulnerabilities waiting walk with God walking on water wall want to be made well wants war wash water wedding weep where worship wholeness why wife willing heart winess wine wisdom witness love to world witness women wonder world trouble worldview world worry worship wound wrestle writers of Bible wrong time younger youth