Anticipating Miracles in Relationships
Copyright: South Bay Community Church
Sermon Reflections: Anticipating Miracles in Relationships
Date: 19th November 2023
Speaker: Lead Pastor: Tammy Long
Sermon Scripture: Genesis 32:1 - 33:11
Sermon Reflections: Anticipating Miracles in Relationships
Date: 19th November 2023
Speaker: Lead Pastor: Tammy Long
Sermon Scripture: Genesis 32:1 - 33:11
Sermon Preamble
This message concludes our mini-series on Anticipating Miracles. The holidays are here; we spend time with family and friends. For many these are special and precious times, but for some these are dreaded or painful times. At the core of these times are relationships. Regression (called psychological time travel) with family or friends can throw us back to yesteryear, triggering memories, regressive behaviors, unresolved issues, and painful conversations. We all have relationship wounds potentially with family, in a marriage, or with co-workers or neighbors. Sometimes, the wounds are minor and heal quickly; other times the wounds are deeper and take a while to heal; others times wounds may get buried until feelings of hurt, bitterness, or resentment remind us of the wound. Wherever there are relationship wounds, there is need for a relationship miracle. The keys in anticipating miracles in relationships are: (1) Remember God is present, (2) Seek God in prayer, be honest about your requests and needs, (3) Embrace the struggle of God’s work in our deep inner self with forgiveness, repentance, and healing, (4) Initiate in faith with courage from God, (5) Trust God’s timing, (6) Release and leave the outcome to God.
We can all have relationships that are not what God would like
It has been found that the impact of unforgiveness is multi-faceted affecting physical, mental, and social health and well-being. Not only do we get wounded, but we also inflict wounds. Sometimes we inflict wounds intentionally and unintentionally due to our own hurt, selfishness, and insecurities.
We can all have relationships that are good overall, but may have wounded areas that could be strengthened to flourish the way God envisions for us. We serve God who loves to do miracles in relationships. Jesus said the greatest commandment is to love God and love your neighbor. It is God’s Will that we have fruitful, whole, healed relationships. Which of your relationships need a miracle? It may be a relationship that is estranged and needs forgiveness and reconciliation. It may be a relationship that is cordial, but cool, and needs a renewed fire. It may be a relationship that is good but could be better still. Let’s anticipate miracles in relationships as we go to God’s Word.
The background context of Genesis 32:1 – Genesis 33:11
Settle in and imagine you are watching this story unfold as you hear the Word of the Lord. The account of Jacob and Esau begins in Genesis 25. The name Jacob means “grasps heel.” At birth, Esau came out first, Jacob followed holding Esau’s heel. Jacob is also a Hebrew idiom meaning deception, and Jacob lived into deception. There was sibling rivalry between Jacob and Esau. Their parents exacerbated the issue because the mother, Rebekkah, favored Jacob, and the father, Isaac, favored Esau.
Two significant events further put these twin brothers at odds. Esau, as the first born, was entitled to the family inheritance and family leadership. However, in a weak moment of hunger, Esau unwisely trades his birthright for a bowl of stew. Then, Jacob with the help of their mother tricks their aging father into giving the first-born blessing to Jacob instead of to Esau. The Old Testament blessing of a father to a son includes words of encouragement, details regarding the son’s inheritance, and prophetic words concerning the future. By the end of Chapter 27, we see a bitter Esau with a grudge against Jacob vowing to kill Jacob.
Through all the mess of relationships, God is in the midst
This is painful family drama. There is a marriage that is broken with deceit. Parenting is broken with favoritism and deceit. The sibling relationship is broken and appears irreparably damaged.
Through the mess, God was in the midst with a plan God was unfolding. This is just like God is present and has a plan today in our relationships, whether or not that relationship is messy. When you consider the drama, baggage, emotions, and history, these brothers had to deal with, the family dynamic was messy. The brothers dealt with feelings of anger, bitterness, resentment, hostility, revenge, guilt and shame? Can you relate to any of these feelings?
Jacob meets his Uncle Laban, a master deceiver and trickster
When their mother, Rebekkah heard that Esau intended to kill Jacob, she convinced Jacob to leave town and seek a wife with the household of her brother, Leban. Jacob, the deceiver and trickster, met his Uncle Laban, a master deceiver and trickster.
Then, Jacob experienced being deceived. Jacob fell in love with Rachel and worked for her father to marry her. However, on Jacob’s wedding night with Rachel, Laban tricked Jacob and gave Jacob Rachel’s older sister Leah. Eventually, Jacob did Mary Rachel, but Laban through deceit got 14 years of work from Jacob.
Eventually, it became clear that Jacob needed to leave Laban’s household immediately and return home. We have to know the background to understand the significance and emotions of this powerful story about the miracle in the relationship between Jacob and Esau.
As Jacob prepared to return home, he initiated communication with Esau, not knowing how he will be received
4 “Your servant Jacob says, ‘I have been staying with Laban and have remained there till now. 5 I have cattle and donkeys, sheep and goats, male and female servants. Now I am sending this message to my lord, that I may find favor in your eyes.’” (Genesis 32:4-5).
(1) Jacob stated that he “has been with Laban.” This implies that Jacob is not hiding, avoiding Esau, or sneaking around.
(2) Jacob added, “I have cattle and donkeys, sheep and goat, male and female servants.” This lets Esau know that Jacob was not coming because he wanted something. Jacob was already wealthy in his own right.
(3) Jacob says, “I am sending this message that I may find favor.” This is why Jacob is coming back. It is an olive branch of hope that they can put everything behind them.
Even though Jacob initiated communication, he had no idea how Esau would respond.
When Jacob heard that Esau is coming with 400 men, Jacob was shaken with fear and distress
6“When the messengers returned to Jacob, they said, ‘We went to your brother Esau, and now he is coming to meet you, and four hundred men are with him.’ 7 In great fear and distress Jacob divided the people who were with him into two groups, and the flocks and herds and camels as well. 8 He thought, ‘If Esau comes and attacks one group, the group that is left may escape.’” (Genesis 32:6-8). What does it mean that Esau is coming with 400 men? Is Esau coming for a violent fight and revenge to fulfill Esau’s vow to kill Jacob? Jacob was in fear and distress, and his defenses went up. Jacob went into a defensive mode to divide the flock. If Esau attacked one flock, then that would give the other flock time to escape. Have you ever reacted out of fear?
Jacob went to God in prayer and remembered God’s blessings
“Then Jacob prayed, ‘O God of my father Abraham, God of my father Isaac,’ Lord, you who said to me, ‘Go back to your country and your relatives, and I will make you prosper,’ 10I am unworthy of all the kindness and faithfulness you have shown your servant. I had only my staff when I crossed this Jordan, but now I have become two camps.” (Genesis 32:9-10). Jacob recounted God’s instruction to go back home and God’s promise that Jacob would prosper. He acknowledged God’s kindness and faithfulness. He remembered God’s blessings, how he started with nothing but a staff, and now he has flourished into two camps.
Jacob prayed for God to save, for Jacob was afraid, and Jacob remembered God and asked for help to trust God
11“Save me, I pray, from the hand of my brother Esau, for I am afraid he will come and attack me, and also the mothers with their children. 12 But you have said, ‘I will surely make you prosper and will make your descendants like the sand of the sea, which cannot be counted.’” (Genesis 32:11-12). When praying God’s Word or the promises of God, it is more about you remembering what God said to help you trust God. God does not forget God’s Word. We sometimes forget.
Jacob strategically sent elaborate gifts (five separate groups of livestock)
13“He spent the night there, and from what he had with him he selected a gift for his brother Esau: 14 two hundred female goats and twenty male goats, two hundred ewes and twenty rams, 15 thirty female camels with their young, forty cows and ten bulls, and twenty female donkeys and ten male donkeys. 16He put them in the care of his servants, each herd by itself, and said to his servants, “Go ahead of me, and keep some space between the herds.” 17He instructed the one in the lead: “When my brother Esau meets you and asks, ‘Who do you belong to, and where are you going, and who owns all these animals in front of you?’ 18 then you are to say, ‘They belong to your servant Jacob. They are a gift sent to my lord Esau, and he is coming behind us.’ 19He also instructed the second, the third and all the others who followed the herds: ‘You are to say the same thing to Esau when you meet him.’ 20 And be sure to say, ‘Your servant Jacob is coming behind us.’ For he thought, ‘I will pacify him with these gifts I am sending on ahead; later, when I see him, perhaps he will receive me.’ 21 So Jacob’s gifts went on ahead of him, but he himself spent the night in the camp.” (Genesis 32: 13-21).
Still struggling with the fear of Esau, Jacob activated another plan of protection to stay safe from Esau’s violence. If Esau’s intentions were to attack, each group would wear down Esau’s army. They would have to set up and get ready each time another gift of livestock arrived. As each gift arrived, Esau would be more burdened with livestock to manage. Esau’s group would move slower; a surprise attack would be harder with so many animals. Jacob, as a strategic thinker, was planning for the worst-case scenario of violence while presenting a peace offering.
Jacob wrestled all night, struggled with God and relationships with humans, and overcame
“24So Jacob was left alone and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. 25 When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. 26 Then the man said, ‘Let me go, for it is daybreak.’ But Jacob replied, ‘I will not let you go unless you bless me.’ 27 The man asked him, ‘What is your name?’ ‘Jacob,’ he answered. 28 Then the man said, ‘Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome.’” (Genesis 32:24-28).
Jacob was battling on all fronts, including emotionally and spiritually. Jacob had fears and painful memories. Jacob knew Esau had every reason to be angry and to seek revenge. Jacob knew what he had done to his brother. Jacob was wresting through these things in his deep inner-self. The wresting continued until daybreak. Jacob wrestled with all that he was feeling, experiencing, and thinking. It was hard and painful in every way, including physical injury near his hip.
Jacob held on through it all and wouldn’t let go until the stranger blessed him. Jacob got a new name and was a new person. Jacob was no longer fearful of relationships with others and a deceiver, but the new name was Israel. God gave the reason: “Because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome.” Jacob persevered through the struggle and experienced God in a new way through the process.
Jacob was aware his encounter was supernatural. He said he had seen the face of God
29b “Then he blessed him there. 30 So Jacob called the place Peniel (face of God), saying, ‘It is because I saw God face to face, and yet my life was spared.’ 31 The sun rose above him as he passed Peniel, and he was limping because of his hip.” (Genesis 32: 29b-31). Jacob was not the same after that. Jacob had a limp to help him remember his supernatural encounter, and he had seen the face of God.
There is a difference in Jacob’s readiness for Esau, without fear
3“He himself went on ahead and bowed down to the ground seven times as he approached his brother. 4 But Esau ran to meet Jacob and embraced him; he threw his arms around his neck and kissed him. And they wept” (Genesis 33:3-4). Jacob no longer had fear of Esau. When Jacob saw Esau coming, Jacob himself goes out first to meet Esau. Jacob is ready to face his brother, whatever may come. Jacob bows down seven times which was the custom for greeting royalty with humility. God has also been doing a work in Esau. Esau comes with a softened heart, not seeking a fight or revenge. Instead the two brothers embrace and weep. Truly this is a miracle in this relationship.
Jacob recognized God’s hand on Esau
10b “Said Jacob. ‘If I have found favor in your eyes, accept this gift from me. For to see your face is like seeing the face of God, now that you have received me favorably. 11 Please accept the present that was brought to you, for God has been gracious to me and I have all I need.’ And because Jacob insisted, Esau accepted it.” (Genesis 33:10-11). When Esau tells Jacob he doesn’t need the gifts, Jacob insists that Esau keep them. Jacob recognized that miracles in relationships and loving neighbors are connected with loving God. God was in the midst, and Jacob recognized the miracle of God in the relationship with others.
Testimony of a member in anticipating miracles in relationships
Three weeks ago my brother called and said he and my sister in-law-were going to be in the Bay Area on October 16th and wanted to come over. I talk to my brother often, but we haven’t seen each other since 2017. He is currently going through cancer treatments.
I had so many reservations because of past events concerning our mother. My main concern was how I would handle the interaction with my sister-in-law. I had forgiven my brother when he asked for my forgiveness right after our mom died in 2017. My sister-in-law never approached me on the subject. The Lord was showing me that I needed to forgive her whether she asked for forgiveness or not. I thought I had forgiven
her, but knowing they were coming over was a different story. I didn’t have the phone to hide me; we were going to be face to face with each other.
Weeks before their arrival, I prayed, sought God in His word. Each time I was in God’s word, God met me there. Verses seemed to jump off the page. To be honest, I struggled with some of them. My mind became a battlefield. Memories of past hurts made me suspicious of their motives for coming over. God gave me Scriptures to memorize to tenderize my heart and give me peace.
By the time my brother and my sister-in-law arrived, God showed up and showed out. I was able to give my sister-in-law a heartfelt hug, no pretense. God had me show my brother and sister-in-law the love of Jesus throughout their entire visit. My brother is very sick; the Lord gave me compassion for him and my sister-in-law.
I consider this a miracle because I tend to hold onto hurts and not like the people who have hurt me. Praise God!! He did a work in my heart.
What we can learn from the story of Jacob and Esau about anticipating miracles in our own relationships
Remember that God is present even in the messiest of relationships. God can restore, heal, and mend any relationship when we invite him. Since we have free will, God will not force it, but God is able.
Seek God in prayer and be honest about your request. What do you want? Is it to be reconciled, be at peace, to go deeper in healed relationships, to be forgiven, to forgive others? Sometimes all we can do is to ask God to help us.
Embrace the inner struggle to create space for a miracle. Do what you need to do in forgiveness, repentance, and healing.
Initiate in faith with courage from God. Listen for how God would have you reach out and engage. Consider taking them out to lunch. Consider initiating a conversation, with listening and speaking up. Consider a letter for closure.
Trust God’s timing and plan. A relationship miracle may not happen how and when you want. God can do a miracle in your heart, even if the other person does not respond the way you would like. At the height of Jesus’ torture, Jesus prayed, forgive them Father, for they know not what they do.
Release and entrust the relationship into God’s care. As you are faithful to do your part, leave the outcome to God.
Application for activation
When we open ourselves to God for a miracle in our relationships, something extraordinary happens regardless of the outcome. Since we were created in the image of God, we can relate to others human to human and see the face of God in them. Likewise, they can see the face of God in us.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS INCLUDING FOR USE IN FAMILY GROUPS
Sermon Preamble
-In what ways might one of your relationships with family or neighbors that we don’t like as much have wounds that bring pain to you physically, emotionally, or spiritually?
We can all have relationships that are not what God would like
-What relationships do you have with family or neighbors that are not the way God envisions for you?
The background context of Genesis 32:1 – Genesis 33:11
-Why did Esau have a grudge against Jacob vowing violent action to fight and kill Jacob?
Through all the mess of relationships, God is in the midst
-The scripture text of the brothers Jacob and Esau has feelings of anger, bitterness, resentment, hostility, revenge, guilt, and shame. Can you relate to any of those feelings in your relationship with others? In what ways can you see God in the midst?
Jacob meets his Uncle Laban, a master deceiver and trickster
-How did Jacob use deception in his relationship with Esau? How can deception be a wound in a relationship that is less than God envisions for us?
As Jacob prepared to return home, he initiated communication to Esau, not knowing how he will be received
-Why was it important for Jacob to initiate communication face to face with Esau even though Jacob had no idea how Esau will respond? Why is it important for us to initiate communication (including active listening) with our family and neighbors even though we do not know how the other humans will respond?
When Jacob heard that Esau is coming with 400 men, Jacob is shaken with fear and distress.
-Reacting out of fear from Esau’s vow to kill Jacob, Jacob went into a defensive mode in a strategic move to divide the flock. When have you reacted out of fear?
Jacob went to God in prayer and remembered God’s blessings
-Why is it important to go to God in prayer and remember God’s blessings for you?
Jacob prayed for God to save, for Jacob was afraid, and Jacob remembered God and asked for help to trust God
-As you pray for God to help you, why is it important to remember God’s promises and past blessings for you to trust God?
Jacob strategically sent elaborate gifts (five separate groups of livestock)
-Still struggling with fear of violence from Esau, Jacob devised another plan to stay safe. What plans might you have implemented out of fear from violence against you?
Jacob wrestled all night, struggled with God and relationships with humans, and overcame
-What was God’s reason for changing the name of Jacob to the new name of Israel (Genesis 32:28). How have you struggled to overcome wounds in relationships?
Jacob was aware his encounter was supernatural. He said he had seen the face of God.
-As you have a testimony of God’s miracle in relationships, what indications do you have that God is in the midst?
There is a difference in Jacob’s readiness for Esau, without fear
-When Jacob went to Esau and bowed down 7 times before him with humility, Jacob had overcome his fear of Esau. How have you struggled to overcome fear of violence from another against you?
Jacob recognized God’s hand on Esau
-How are miracles in relationships and loving fellow human beings connected with loving God?
Application for activation
-Regardless of the immediate timing of the outcome, in what ways does human to human listening, communication, forgiveness, and love allow each human in a relationship to see the face of God in each other?
This message concludes our mini-series on Anticipating Miracles. The holidays are here; we spend time with family and friends. For many these are special and precious times, but for some these are dreaded or painful times. At the core of these times are relationships. Regression (called psychological time travel) with family or friends can throw us back to yesteryear, triggering memories, regressive behaviors, unresolved issues, and painful conversations. We all have relationship wounds potentially with family, in a marriage, or with co-workers or neighbors. Sometimes, the wounds are minor and heal quickly; other times the wounds are deeper and take a while to heal; others times wounds may get buried until feelings of hurt, bitterness, or resentment remind us of the wound. Wherever there are relationship wounds, there is need for a relationship miracle. The keys in anticipating miracles in relationships are: (1) Remember God is present, (2) Seek God in prayer, be honest about your requests and needs, (3) Embrace the struggle of God’s work in our deep inner self with forgiveness, repentance, and healing, (4) Initiate in faith with courage from God, (5) Trust God’s timing, (6) Release and leave the outcome to God.
We can all have relationships that are not what God would like
It has been found that the impact of unforgiveness is multi-faceted affecting physical, mental, and social health and well-being. Not only do we get wounded, but we also inflict wounds. Sometimes we inflict wounds intentionally and unintentionally due to our own hurt, selfishness, and insecurities.
We can all have relationships that are good overall, but may have wounded areas that could be strengthened to flourish the way God envisions for us. We serve God who loves to do miracles in relationships. Jesus said the greatest commandment is to love God and love your neighbor. It is God’s Will that we have fruitful, whole, healed relationships. Which of your relationships need a miracle? It may be a relationship that is estranged and needs forgiveness and reconciliation. It may be a relationship that is cordial, but cool, and needs a renewed fire. It may be a relationship that is good but could be better still. Let’s anticipate miracles in relationships as we go to God’s Word.
The background context of Genesis 32:1 – Genesis 33:11
Settle in and imagine you are watching this story unfold as you hear the Word of the Lord. The account of Jacob and Esau begins in Genesis 25. The name Jacob means “grasps heel.” At birth, Esau came out first, Jacob followed holding Esau’s heel. Jacob is also a Hebrew idiom meaning deception, and Jacob lived into deception. There was sibling rivalry between Jacob and Esau. Their parents exacerbated the issue because the mother, Rebekkah, favored Jacob, and the father, Isaac, favored Esau.
Two significant events further put these twin brothers at odds. Esau, as the first born, was entitled to the family inheritance and family leadership. However, in a weak moment of hunger, Esau unwisely trades his birthright for a bowl of stew. Then, Jacob with the help of their mother tricks their aging father into giving the first-born blessing to Jacob instead of to Esau. The Old Testament blessing of a father to a son includes words of encouragement, details regarding the son’s inheritance, and prophetic words concerning the future. By the end of Chapter 27, we see a bitter Esau with a grudge against Jacob vowing to kill Jacob.
Through all the mess of relationships, God is in the midst
This is painful family drama. There is a marriage that is broken with deceit. Parenting is broken with favoritism and deceit. The sibling relationship is broken and appears irreparably damaged.
Through the mess, God was in the midst with a plan God was unfolding. This is just like God is present and has a plan today in our relationships, whether or not that relationship is messy. When you consider the drama, baggage, emotions, and history, these brothers had to deal with, the family dynamic was messy. The brothers dealt with feelings of anger, bitterness, resentment, hostility, revenge, guilt and shame? Can you relate to any of these feelings?
Jacob meets his Uncle Laban, a master deceiver and trickster
When their mother, Rebekkah heard that Esau intended to kill Jacob, she convinced Jacob to leave town and seek a wife with the household of her brother, Leban. Jacob, the deceiver and trickster, met his Uncle Laban, a master deceiver and trickster.
Then, Jacob experienced being deceived. Jacob fell in love with Rachel and worked for her father to marry her. However, on Jacob’s wedding night with Rachel, Laban tricked Jacob and gave Jacob Rachel’s older sister Leah. Eventually, Jacob did Mary Rachel, but Laban through deceit got 14 years of work from Jacob.
Eventually, it became clear that Jacob needed to leave Laban’s household immediately and return home. We have to know the background to understand the significance and emotions of this powerful story about the miracle in the relationship between Jacob and Esau.
As Jacob prepared to return home, he initiated communication with Esau, not knowing how he will be received
4 “Your servant Jacob says, ‘I have been staying with Laban and have remained there till now. 5 I have cattle and donkeys, sheep and goats, male and female servants. Now I am sending this message to my lord, that I may find favor in your eyes.’” (Genesis 32:4-5).
(1) Jacob stated that he “has been with Laban.” This implies that Jacob is not hiding, avoiding Esau, or sneaking around.
(2) Jacob added, “I have cattle and donkeys, sheep and goat, male and female servants.” This lets Esau know that Jacob was not coming because he wanted something. Jacob was already wealthy in his own right.
(3) Jacob says, “I am sending this message that I may find favor.” This is why Jacob is coming back. It is an olive branch of hope that they can put everything behind them.
Even though Jacob initiated communication, he had no idea how Esau would respond.
When Jacob heard that Esau is coming with 400 men, Jacob was shaken with fear and distress
6“When the messengers returned to Jacob, they said, ‘We went to your brother Esau, and now he is coming to meet you, and four hundred men are with him.’ 7 In great fear and distress Jacob divided the people who were with him into two groups, and the flocks and herds and camels as well. 8 He thought, ‘If Esau comes and attacks one group, the group that is left may escape.’” (Genesis 32:6-8). What does it mean that Esau is coming with 400 men? Is Esau coming for a violent fight and revenge to fulfill Esau’s vow to kill Jacob? Jacob was in fear and distress, and his defenses went up. Jacob went into a defensive mode to divide the flock. If Esau attacked one flock, then that would give the other flock time to escape. Have you ever reacted out of fear?
Jacob went to God in prayer and remembered God’s blessings
“Then Jacob prayed, ‘O God of my father Abraham, God of my father Isaac,’ Lord, you who said to me, ‘Go back to your country and your relatives, and I will make you prosper,’ 10I am unworthy of all the kindness and faithfulness you have shown your servant. I had only my staff when I crossed this Jordan, but now I have become two camps.” (Genesis 32:9-10). Jacob recounted God’s instruction to go back home and God’s promise that Jacob would prosper. He acknowledged God’s kindness and faithfulness. He remembered God’s blessings, how he started with nothing but a staff, and now he has flourished into two camps.
Jacob prayed for God to save, for Jacob was afraid, and Jacob remembered God and asked for help to trust God
11“Save me, I pray, from the hand of my brother Esau, for I am afraid he will come and attack me, and also the mothers with their children. 12 But you have said, ‘I will surely make you prosper and will make your descendants like the sand of the sea, which cannot be counted.’” (Genesis 32:11-12). When praying God’s Word or the promises of God, it is more about you remembering what God said to help you trust God. God does not forget God’s Word. We sometimes forget.
Jacob strategically sent elaborate gifts (five separate groups of livestock)
13“He spent the night there, and from what he had with him he selected a gift for his brother Esau: 14 two hundred female goats and twenty male goats, two hundred ewes and twenty rams, 15 thirty female camels with their young, forty cows and ten bulls, and twenty female donkeys and ten male donkeys. 16He put them in the care of his servants, each herd by itself, and said to his servants, “Go ahead of me, and keep some space between the herds.” 17He instructed the one in the lead: “When my brother Esau meets you and asks, ‘Who do you belong to, and where are you going, and who owns all these animals in front of you?’ 18 then you are to say, ‘They belong to your servant Jacob. They are a gift sent to my lord Esau, and he is coming behind us.’ 19He also instructed the second, the third and all the others who followed the herds: ‘You are to say the same thing to Esau when you meet him.’ 20 And be sure to say, ‘Your servant Jacob is coming behind us.’ For he thought, ‘I will pacify him with these gifts I am sending on ahead; later, when I see him, perhaps he will receive me.’ 21 So Jacob’s gifts went on ahead of him, but he himself spent the night in the camp.” (Genesis 32: 13-21).
Still struggling with the fear of Esau, Jacob activated another plan of protection to stay safe from Esau’s violence. If Esau’s intentions were to attack, each group would wear down Esau’s army. They would have to set up and get ready each time another gift of livestock arrived. As each gift arrived, Esau would be more burdened with livestock to manage. Esau’s group would move slower; a surprise attack would be harder with so many animals. Jacob, as a strategic thinker, was planning for the worst-case scenario of violence while presenting a peace offering.
Jacob wrestled all night, struggled with God and relationships with humans, and overcame
“24So Jacob was left alone and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. 25 When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. 26 Then the man said, ‘Let me go, for it is daybreak.’ But Jacob replied, ‘I will not let you go unless you bless me.’ 27 The man asked him, ‘What is your name?’ ‘Jacob,’ he answered. 28 Then the man said, ‘Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome.’” (Genesis 32:24-28).
Jacob was battling on all fronts, including emotionally and spiritually. Jacob had fears and painful memories. Jacob knew Esau had every reason to be angry and to seek revenge. Jacob knew what he had done to his brother. Jacob was wresting through these things in his deep inner-self. The wresting continued until daybreak. Jacob wrestled with all that he was feeling, experiencing, and thinking. It was hard and painful in every way, including physical injury near his hip.
Jacob held on through it all and wouldn’t let go until the stranger blessed him. Jacob got a new name and was a new person. Jacob was no longer fearful of relationships with others and a deceiver, but the new name was Israel. God gave the reason: “Because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome.” Jacob persevered through the struggle and experienced God in a new way through the process.
Jacob was aware his encounter was supernatural. He said he had seen the face of God
29b “Then he blessed him there. 30 So Jacob called the place Peniel (face of God), saying, ‘It is because I saw God face to face, and yet my life was spared.’ 31 The sun rose above him as he passed Peniel, and he was limping because of his hip.” (Genesis 32: 29b-31). Jacob was not the same after that. Jacob had a limp to help him remember his supernatural encounter, and he had seen the face of God.
There is a difference in Jacob’s readiness for Esau, without fear
3“He himself went on ahead and bowed down to the ground seven times as he approached his brother. 4 But Esau ran to meet Jacob and embraced him; he threw his arms around his neck and kissed him. And they wept” (Genesis 33:3-4). Jacob no longer had fear of Esau. When Jacob saw Esau coming, Jacob himself goes out first to meet Esau. Jacob is ready to face his brother, whatever may come. Jacob bows down seven times which was the custom for greeting royalty with humility. God has also been doing a work in Esau. Esau comes with a softened heart, not seeking a fight or revenge. Instead the two brothers embrace and weep. Truly this is a miracle in this relationship.
Jacob recognized God’s hand on Esau
10b “Said Jacob. ‘If I have found favor in your eyes, accept this gift from me. For to see your face is like seeing the face of God, now that you have received me favorably. 11 Please accept the present that was brought to you, for God has been gracious to me and I have all I need.’ And because Jacob insisted, Esau accepted it.” (Genesis 33:10-11). When Esau tells Jacob he doesn’t need the gifts, Jacob insists that Esau keep them. Jacob recognized that miracles in relationships and loving neighbors are connected with loving God. God was in the midst, and Jacob recognized the miracle of God in the relationship with others.
Testimony of a member in anticipating miracles in relationships
Three weeks ago my brother called and said he and my sister in-law-were going to be in the Bay Area on October 16th and wanted to come over. I talk to my brother often, but we haven’t seen each other since 2017. He is currently going through cancer treatments.
I had so many reservations because of past events concerning our mother. My main concern was how I would handle the interaction with my sister-in-law. I had forgiven my brother when he asked for my forgiveness right after our mom died in 2017. My sister-in-law never approached me on the subject. The Lord was showing me that I needed to forgive her whether she asked for forgiveness or not. I thought I had forgiven
her, but knowing they were coming over was a different story. I didn’t have the phone to hide me; we were going to be face to face with each other.
Weeks before their arrival, I prayed, sought God in His word. Each time I was in God’s word, God met me there. Verses seemed to jump off the page. To be honest, I struggled with some of them. My mind became a battlefield. Memories of past hurts made me suspicious of their motives for coming over. God gave me Scriptures to memorize to tenderize my heart and give me peace.
By the time my brother and my sister-in-law arrived, God showed up and showed out. I was able to give my sister-in-law a heartfelt hug, no pretense. God had me show my brother and sister-in-law the love of Jesus throughout their entire visit. My brother is very sick; the Lord gave me compassion for him and my sister-in-law.
I consider this a miracle because I tend to hold onto hurts and not like the people who have hurt me. Praise God!! He did a work in my heart.
What we can learn from the story of Jacob and Esau about anticipating miracles in our own relationships
Remember that God is present even in the messiest of relationships. God can restore, heal, and mend any relationship when we invite him. Since we have free will, God will not force it, but God is able.
Seek God in prayer and be honest about your request. What do you want? Is it to be reconciled, be at peace, to go deeper in healed relationships, to be forgiven, to forgive others? Sometimes all we can do is to ask God to help us.
Embrace the inner struggle to create space for a miracle. Do what you need to do in forgiveness, repentance, and healing.
Initiate in faith with courage from God. Listen for how God would have you reach out and engage. Consider taking them out to lunch. Consider initiating a conversation, with listening and speaking up. Consider a letter for closure.
Trust God’s timing and plan. A relationship miracle may not happen how and when you want. God can do a miracle in your heart, even if the other person does not respond the way you would like. At the height of Jesus’ torture, Jesus prayed, forgive them Father, for they know not what they do.
Release and entrust the relationship into God’s care. As you are faithful to do your part, leave the outcome to God.
Application for activation
When we open ourselves to God for a miracle in our relationships, something extraordinary happens regardless of the outcome. Since we were created in the image of God, we can relate to others human to human and see the face of God in them. Likewise, they can see the face of God in us.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS INCLUDING FOR USE IN FAMILY GROUPS
Sermon Preamble
-In what ways might one of your relationships with family or neighbors that we don’t like as much have wounds that bring pain to you physically, emotionally, or spiritually?
We can all have relationships that are not what God would like
-What relationships do you have with family or neighbors that are not the way God envisions for you?
The background context of Genesis 32:1 – Genesis 33:11
-Why did Esau have a grudge against Jacob vowing violent action to fight and kill Jacob?
Through all the mess of relationships, God is in the midst
-The scripture text of the brothers Jacob and Esau has feelings of anger, bitterness, resentment, hostility, revenge, guilt, and shame. Can you relate to any of those feelings in your relationship with others? In what ways can you see God in the midst?
Jacob meets his Uncle Laban, a master deceiver and trickster
-How did Jacob use deception in his relationship with Esau? How can deception be a wound in a relationship that is less than God envisions for us?
As Jacob prepared to return home, he initiated communication to Esau, not knowing how he will be received
-Why was it important for Jacob to initiate communication face to face with Esau even though Jacob had no idea how Esau will respond? Why is it important for us to initiate communication (including active listening) with our family and neighbors even though we do not know how the other humans will respond?
When Jacob heard that Esau is coming with 400 men, Jacob is shaken with fear and distress.
-Reacting out of fear from Esau’s vow to kill Jacob, Jacob went into a defensive mode in a strategic move to divide the flock. When have you reacted out of fear?
Jacob went to God in prayer and remembered God’s blessings
-Why is it important to go to God in prayer and remember God’s blessings for you?
Jacob prayed for God to save, for Jacob was afraid, and Jacob remembered God and asked for help to trust God
-As you pray for God to help you, why is it important to remember God’s promises and past blessings for you to trust God?
Jacob strategically sent elaborate gifts (five separate groups of livestock)
-Still struggling with fear of violence from Esau, Jacob devised another plan to stay safe. What plans might you have implemented out of fear from violence against you?
Jacob wrestled all night, struggled with God and relationships with humans, and overcame
-What was God’s reason for changing the name of Jacob to the new name of Israel (Genesis 32:28). How have you struggled to overcome wounds in relationships?
Jacob was aware his encounter was supernatural. He said he had seen the face of God.
-As you have a testimony of God’s miracle in relationships, what indications do you have that God is in the midst?
There is a difference in Jacob’s readiness for Esau, without fear
-When Jacob went to Esau and bowed down 7 times before him with humility, Jacob had overcome his fear of Esau. How have you struggled to overcome fear of violence from another against you?
Jacob recognized God’s hand on Esau
-How are miracles in relationships and loving fellow human beings connected with loving God?
Application for activation
-Regardless of the immediate timing of the outcome, in what ways does human to human listening, communication, forgiveness, and love allow each human in a relationship to see the face of God in each other?
Posted in Anticipating Miracles
Posted in relationships, Genesis 32, Genesis 33, miracle, wound, Jacob, Israel, Laban, Esau, fear, distress, violence, trust, wrestle, bless, face of God, testimony, anticipating, initiate, rememer, release
Posted in relationships, Genesis 32, Genesis 33, miracle, wound, Jacob, Israel, Laban, Esau, fear, distress, violence, trust, wrestle, bless, face of God, testimony, anticipating, initiate, rememer, release
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