A B.L.E.S.S. Christmas: The Gift of Listening
Copyright: South Bay Community Church
Sermon Reflections: The Gift of Listening
Date: 3rd December 2023
Speaker: Lead Pastor: Tammy Long
Sermon Scripture: Jeremiah 29:12 / Psalm 116:1-2
Sermon Reflections: The Gift of Listening
Date: 3rd December 2023
Speaker: Lead Pastor: Tammy Long
Sermon Scripture: Jeremiah 29:12 / Psalm 116:1-2
Sermon Resources
Sermon Preamble
We are continuing our series of messages, “A B.L.E.S.S. Christmas.” God is inviting us to embrace the sentiment, sounds, and sharing of this Christmas season as Jesus’ witnesses of light and love. The focus of this message is on the “L” in B.L.E.S.S., which is the gift of listening with care. Listening with care like God listens and Jesus listens is a gift of hope that the world desperately needs. God’s listening is active and attentive in every aspect of our lives. God is watching over us and orchestrating our care, our provision, and our well-being in ways even beyond our awareness. Even when God seems far away or the tragedies and trials of this world threaten to overwhelm us, God never leaves our side. God is present with good plans, hope, and a future. As the Holy Spirit opens the door for spiritual conversations, listening well enables us to extend not only hope but Jesus, our Living Hope. Listening with care is a gift of love we can give this Christmas to BLESS others with hope. However, when we don’t listen well, we can miss the ways God is moving; God is inviting us to connect with others and share God’s message of love and hope.
God calls, God listens, and provides hope and a future
According to scripture, God calls, invites us, and promises to listen. “Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.” (Jeremiah 29:12). This text illustrates how God is pursuing us, seeking to get our attention, and demonstrating God’s immense love in calling out to us.
The background for this Jeremiah scriptural text is that God’s people had repeatedly turned their backs on God. They were bent on doing things their own way despite many warnings from the prophets. As a consequence of their choices, God’s people were captured by the Babylonians. God’s people were exiled, but God did not forget or abandon them. In Jeremiah 29: 10-13, God declared, “This is what the Lord says: ‘When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my good promise to bring you back to this place. I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”
As followers of Jesus, our response should be led by the Holy Spirit to begin with prayer and seek to obey the process of going to make disciples
A text for our response is: “I love (You) Lord because (You) hear my voice and my prayer for mercy. Because (You) bend down to listen, I will pray as long as I have breath” (Psalms 116:1-2). While God is pursuing us, God is also waiting on us. Often that means coming to the end of our worldly perspective before we seek God and respond to God’s call. When we cry out to God in prayer, God will listen and respond. We are Jesus’ witnesses of light and love.
We make disciples by coming alongside others on their journey to meet and get to know Jesus. This journey is a process with many mini-steps and with many touch points of invitation and many experiences from many different voices over many years. God is working in our lives long before we are aware of God or choose to follow God.
For example, a young pastor had a passion for seeing the lost come to Christ. Over time, he would go to the County Jail to listen and share the love of Jesus with the inmates. Over time, he developed a relationship with one inmate who was known to be a hardened criminal. One day, the young pastor asked the inmate if he wanted to accept Christ. The inmate said yes and gave his heart to the Lord. The pastor was ecstatic that he had led this inmate to the Lord. We never know what number we may be on someone’s journey. Then, the inmate explained to the pastor that 24 others had witnessed to him about Christ over the years. His decision to accept Christ was the result of all 25 of them together. It doesn’t matter because as followers of Christ, our part is to be faithful to tell God’s story.
The Christmas season is a perfect time to share God’s story through the evangelism practice of BLESS.
One of our members was excited to tell about an encounter he had with a man from India. When he struck up a conversation, he learned that the man was 87 years old, from a Hindu background, and was now a Christian pastor! A simple greeting with listening and practicing being open to the Spirit turned into a blessing and fellowship. We never know what doors God may open, what divine appointments God may be orchestrating, or where God may be inviting us to walk alongside someone wherever they may be on their journey. Last week, we began with prayer by noticing who God was bringing to our minds. We also prayed for those we don’t know so that we would be attentive with open eyes, ears, and hearts for any doors God may open for us to be beacons of light. Begin with prayer (B in the BLESS acronym) and let God take it from there.
The next letter in the acronym for BLESS is “L” - Listen with care.
Since demand is high in the formal marketplace and informally to have someone listen to us, there is a need for good listeners
Listening is the absolute best gift you can give this Christmas season. You may not find it on Oprah’s list of favorite things, but good listening is very much in demand. Listening is a rare and sometimes costly commodity. The U.S. Behavioral Health Market, which includes listening services such as therapy and counseling was valued at about $90.5 billion in 2020 and is projected to hit $132.4 billion by 2027. This formal market includes various services such as home-based treatment, outpatient counseling, emergency mental health services, hospital treatment, and intensive care management. Outpatient counseling, such as therapy, is the largest segment of the market, constituting 35.1% of the market in 2020. While outpatient counseling includes mental health services and therapy, professional listening and counseling services is a staggering portion of the billions for outpatient counseling.
We spend a lot of money to have someone listen to us. Those are people who recognize that they need to talk and have someone listen. Millions more people not seeking professional listening or counseling services seek a listening ear, an encouraging word, and support in times of distress with family, friends, or even strangers that are good listeners.
Listening is also paramount when we talk about sharing our faith
The Barna study mentioned in last week’s message explored the experience of those with no Christian faith. The study found that people respond more positively when Christians embrace a dialogue instead of an argument. Few people like to argue.
The survey found that faith conversations received as positive were conversation when a person: (1) Listened well to you – number one 66%. (2) Asked you questions – 48%. (3) Asked if they could pray with you – 46%. (4) Displayed curiosity – 43%. (5) Asked if you wanted to grow spiritually -39%. (6) Spoke positively about other Christians – 38%. (7) Encouraged you to look for God or a higher power in everyday life – (37%).
The survey also found that faith conversations received negative response such as being corrected, criticizing other Christians, showing impatience, expressing disagreement, and criticizing other beliefs.
Many of these survey responses relate to listening well and respecting the person you are conversing with wherever they may be on their spiritual path. Respecting someone’s journey does not mean we cannot have conversation at all. There is a way that people respond to such conversations. The key point is that listening with care is core if we are going to share our faith and be a witness for Jesus.
Listening with care is essential when sharing our faith with the next generation
If you are a follower of Christ, perhaps you came forward when the doors of the church were opened or you raised your hand during an invitation to accept Christ. But for many, particularly the next generation, times have changed. The ways they sense and respond to Jesus’ invitation require a different approach. Please view this video clip on loving and listening well.
https://drive.google.com/file/d/19-gp21MVxPqoko48YJXHK1JwCGS6MUZi/view?usp=drive_link
Sharing our faith in words as well as deeds is about loving and listening well. When we learn to listen well in partnership with the Holy Spirit, we model and extend the love and care of our loving and listening God.
God is a model for listening well
Earlier in this message, we explored texts that modeled God’s call and our response as followers of Jesus. God engages with us in a call and response experience. However, in our humanity, we often are not paying attention until we are in need and don’t know what else to do, who else to talk to, or which direction we should go. God knows that about us. God is not mad at us for that. We are humans with a sinful nature that wants to do things our way until we can’t.
Followers of Jesus serve a God who listens. “The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are attentive to their cry” (Psalm 34:15). “And this is the boldness we have in God, if we ask anything according to God’s Will, God hears us.” (1 John 5:14). “The Lord is close to all who call on Him, yes, to all who call on Him in truth. He grants the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cries for help and rescues them.” (Psalm 145:18-19).
God doesn’t just hear, but God also listens and understands. God has compassion and empathy. God’s response is not always what we want to hear, but God does respond. When we share our hearts with God our cries, pleas, and questions do not fall on deaf ears. God is not distracted from multi-tasking. God gives us full attention, and God listens. This is why the Psalmist wrote, “I love the Lord because He hears my voice and my prayer for mercy. Because He bends down to listen, I will pray as long as I have breath!” (Psalm 116:1-2).
Jesus is also a model for listening well and communicating hope
While on earth, Jesus was a compassionate listener. He took time to hear people’s story. He asked questions. He gave thoughtful responses. He engaged in meaningful conversations that drew people closer to Him.
The way Jesus listened and communicated gave hope. Hope when Jesus asked blind Bartimaeus, “what do you want me to do for you?” (Mathew 20:32). Hope when Jesus said to the woman caught in adultery, “Neither do I condemn you. Go and sin no more” (John 8:11). Hope when Jesus said to Martha as she was grieving the death of her brother, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live.” (John 11:25).
We are not God or Jesus, so our listening won’t look exactly like theirs. With the power of the Holy Spirit, we can follow the heart of love in God the Father, and Jesus, the God the Son, to give the gift of listening. As we give the gift of listening well, we are also giving the gift of hope.
Listening with care is a gift of Validation and Understanding that offers hope
We know we matter and feel validated and understood when someone listens well. Then, it is incredibly affirming because we feel seen, heard, and acknowledged. Ralph Nichols wrote, “The most basic of human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them.” Listening with care is a gift of validation and understanding that offers hope. We tell ourselves that maybe I am not as off as I thought.
Listening with care is a gift of Empathy and Connection that offers hope
When someone listens well with compassion and understanding, we experience empathy. We feel a deep sense of connection and fellowship. We know we are not alone.
Listening with care is a gift of Encouragement and Support that offers hope
When someone listens well with encouragement and support, it bolsters us, especially if we’re feeling down, confused, or uncertain. As they listen and hear us well, they can offer another perspective, make suggestions, help us catch a vision for possibilities, and share encouraging words. We feel strengthened to continue.
Listening with care is the gift of a Safe and Holy Space to Explore, Heal, and Grow
A safe, holy space allows us to be real and to be ourselves. We can be real for ourselves even as we are still figuring things out and gathering our thoughts and perspectives.
Listening with care is listening like God and Jesus listens offering hope.
Listening is an amazing gift of hope; it is a gift our world definitely needs. As the Spirit opens the door for spiritual conversation, listening well enables us to extend not only hope, but also Jesus, our Living Hope.
Listening well and with care does not come naturally, so we need a reminder to grow (L.I.S.T.E.N.)
We don’t listen well. Most of the time, while someone is talking, we formulate what we are going to say in response. We are distracted or thinking about other things. We analyze and judge whether we agree or disagree before the other person even finishes.
Communication in general is hard work. Between listening and speaking, listening is harder. We know that listening is part of conversing, but we are still not very good at listening. We know how to do listening with care, but the issue is that we often fail to do active or attentive listening. A classic Peanuts cartoon contains the truth, “When you make conversation, you have to listen too.”
Practice intentional listening. As we BLESS this Christmas, grow in listening with care for God moments in conversations. The following reminders are for the LISTEN acronym.
“L” – Look interested and stay focused
For example, we have seen a family in a restaurant where everyone is on their phone, and there is no conversation whatsoever! Distracted people may glance at their watches and are glued to all types of media. We are distracted by people in our field of vision and even by the intrusion of our own thoughts. Jesus had compassion and interest whenever He spoke with people. It takes work and intentionality to stay focused. Good eye contact, noticing body language and tone of voice, and simply paying attention are looking and genuinely being interested in listening with care.
“I” – Invite deeper sharing with gentle questions of curiosity
Jesus used questions to deepen conversations using gentle questions without being nosy. The survey discussed earlier in this message, confirms what Jesus practiced. Gentle questioning requires being genuinely interested to learn more, gain clarity and understanding, and be fascinated by what the other person is sharing. For example, listening with care utilizes questions like, Can you say more about that? So what I think you are saying is … Is that right?
“S” – Seek to listen with empathy
Empathy is a way of connecting with feelings and experiences. For example, listening with care utilizes active listening statements like, What was that like for you. I’m so sorry; that sounds really hard. I can understand why you’d be so angry. We seek to invite people to share their experience and feelings as they are comfortable. Remember to stick with their story; do not hijack the conversation by turning it into your story.
“T” - Take the time
Trust the Holy Spirit in taking time to listen with care. Prayerful discernment is important because listening to people can take a lot of time. Jesus gave people time. Jesus dealt with interruptions on many occasions, including people wanting to be healed while Jesus was on his way somewhere and children seeking Jesus attention. Jesus did not send them away, but He invited them to come. Trust the Holy Spirit on taking time, but be open when the Spirit prompts to take the time to listen with care.
“E” – Engage the Holy Spirit
Dual listening is listening to the other person with your ears and listening to God with your heart in prayer with intentional openness. It is not that you are saying a prayer while the person is talking, so your attention is divided. You are fully focused on what the person is sharing. At the same time maintain a prayerful awareness of God. Maintain an open posture for what God wants you to hear, notice, or say when the time comes to respond. Sometimes a prayerful awareness of God is about listening “for the words under the words” or the unspoken sentiment that God may be stirring for a Holy Spirit led deeper conversation.
“N” – Notice God’s Footprints
The point is that you are engaging with the Spirit with a listening heart. Listen as the Spirit brings to your mind the footprints of God already at work in this person’s life. As we are listening with care, we may hear ways God is inviting them to draw near to God and recognize God moments in their life and stories. They may have an interest in spiritual practices or an opportunity for prayer. You may hear a passion for nature and be able to share it as one path to connect with God. A few months ago, we discussed different paths to God. The Barna research study indicated spiritually open people relate positively to being listened to with care. We hear and help other connect to God whenever we listen well and respect wherever they may be on their spiritual path.
The Big Idea
Listening with care is a gift of love we can give this Christmas. When we don’t listen well, we can miss the ways God is moving and inviting us to connect and share God’s message of love and hope. BLESS others with hope.
The world needs us. This quote explains why. “In the night of death, hope sees a star, and listening love can hear the rustle of a wing” (Robert Green Ingersoll).
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS INCLUDING FOR USE IN FAMILY GROUPS
Sermon Preamble
-Why is it important in your life journey that God is always present with you being attentive, caring, and watching over you?
God calls, God listens, and provides hope and a future
-After capture and exile by the Babylonians, what were God’s plans for the designated people of God?
-Similarly, what are the plans of God for hope and a future in our life journey even in difficult circumstances?
As followers of Jesus, our response should be led by the Holy Spirit to begin with prayer and seek to obey the process of going to make disciples
-As followers of Jesus, what is our part in the process, often over many years, of going to make disciples?
Since demand is high in the formal marketplace and informally to have someone listen to us, there is a need for good listeners
-While outpatient counseling provided by professional listening and counseling services is a staggering portion of the formal marketplace, in what ways can you give the gift of love in listening with care providing hope?
Listening is also paramount when we talk about sharing our faith
-In the Barna survey of conversations sharing faith, why do you think listening well is the top positive action in faith conversations?
Listening with care is essential when sharing our faith with the next generation
-Why is listening well especially important in sharing our faith with the next generation? What are the major points made in the video?
God is a model for listening well
-Describe the ways that God is a model for us in the gift of love in listening well.
Jesus is also a model for listening well and communicating hope
-Describe the ways that Jesus is a model for us in the gift of love in listening well? Why do we say that Jesus is the living hope of the world?
Listening with care is a gift of Validation and Understanding that offers hope
-What is the meaning for your life journey of the gift, Validation and Understanding, in listening with care?
Listening with care is a gift of Empathy and Connection that offers hope
-What is the meaning for your life journey of the gift, Empathy and Connection, in listening with care?
Listening with care is a gift of Encouragement and Support that offers hope
-What is the meaning for your life journey of the gift, Encouragement and Support, in listening with care?
Listening with care is the gift of a Safe and Holy Space to Explore, Heal, and Grow
-What is the meaning for your life journey of the gift, a Safe and Holy Space to Explore, Heal, and Grow, in listening with care?
Listening well and with care does not come naturally, so we need a reminder to grow (L.I.S.T.E.N.)
“L” – Look interested and stay focused
-What distractions do you need to minimize in order to listen well with care?
“I” – Invite deeper sharing with gentle questions of curiosity.
-What are some examples of gentle questions of curiosity fascinated with what the other person is sharing?
“S” – Seek to listen with empathy
-In what ways can you listen with empathy and sympathy by seeing yourself in another’s place?
“T” - Take the time
-Why should we be open to the prompting of the Holy Spirit in making the time to listen with care?
“E” – Engage the Holy Spirit
-As we are focused on whatever the other person is sharing, why is it important to listen to God and the Spirit?
“N” – Notice God’s Footprints
-What are some examples of footprints of God already at work in a person’s life as one way to connect with God?
We are continuing our series of messages, “A B.L.E.S.S. Christmas.” God is inviting us to embrace the sentiment, sounds, and sharing of this Christmas season as Jesus’ witnesses of light and love. The focus of this message is on the “L” in B.L.E.S.S., which is the gift of listening with care. Listening with care like God listens and Jesus listens is a gift of hope that the world desperately needs. God’s listening is active and attentive in every aspect of our lives. God is watching over us and orchestrating our care, our provision, and our well-being in ways even beyond our awareness. Even when God seems far away or the tragedies and trials of this world threaten to overwhelm us, God never leaves our side. God is present with good plans, hope, and a future. As the Holy Spirit opens the door for spiritual conversations, listening well enables us to extend not only hope but Jesus, our Living Hope. Listening with care is a gift of love we can give this Christmas to BLESS others with hope. However, when we don’t listen well, we can miss the ways God is moving; God is inviting us to connect with others and share God’s message of love and hope.
God calls, God listens, and provides hope and a future
According to scripture, God calls, invites us, and promises to listen. “Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.” (Jeremiah 29:12). This text illustrates how God is pursuing us, seeking to get our attention, and demonstrating God’s immense love in calling out to us.
The background for this Jeremiah scriptural text is that God’s people had repeatedly turned their backs on God. They were bent on doing things their own way despite many warnings from the prophets. As a consequence of their choices, God’s people were captured by the Babylonians. God’s people were exiled, but God did not forget or abandon them. In Jeremiah 29: 10-13, God declared, “This is what the Lord says: ‘When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my good promise to bring you back to this place. I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”
As followers of Jesus, our response should be led by the Holy Spirit to begin with prayer and seek to obey the process of going to make disciples
A text for our response is: “I love (You) Lord because (You) hear my voice and my prayer for mercy. Because (You) bend down to listen, I will pray as long as I have breath” (Psalms 116:1-2). While God is pursuing us, God is also waiting on us. Often that means coming to the end of our worldly perspective before we seek God and respond to God’s call. When we cry out to God in prayer, God will listen and respond. We are Jesus’ witnesses of light and love.
We make disciples by coming alongside others on their journey to meet and get to know Jesus. This journey is a process with many mini-steps and with many touch points of invitation and many experiences from many different voices over many years. God is working in our lives long before we are aware of God or choose to follow God.
For example, a young pastor had a passion for seeing the lost come to Christ. Over time, he would go to the County Jail to listen and share the love of Jesus with the inmates. Over time, he developed a relationship with one inmate who was known to be a hardened criminal. One day, the young pastor asked the inmate if he wanted to accept Christ. The inmate said yes and gave his heart to the Lord. The pastor was ecstatic that he had led this inmate to the Lord. We never know what number we may be on someone’s journey. Then, the inmate explained to the pastor that 24 others had witnessed to him about Christ over the years. His decision to accept Christ was the result of all 25 of them together. It doesn’t matter because as followers of Christ, our part is to be faithful to tell God’s story.
The Christmas season is a perfect time to share God’s story through the evangelism practice of BLESS.
One of our members was excited to tell about an encounter he had with a man from India. When he struck up a conversation, he learned that the man was 87 years old, from a Hindu background, and was now a Christian pastor! A simple greeting with listening and practicing being open to the Spirit turned into a blessing and fellowship. We never know what doors God may open, what divine appointments God may be orchestrating, or where God may be inviting us to walk alongside someone wherever they may be on their journey. Last week, we began with prayer by noticing who God was bringing to our minds. We also prayed for those we don’t know so that we would be attentive with open eyes, ears, and hearts for any doors God may open for us to be beacons of light. Begin with prayer (B in the BLESS acronym) and let God take it from there.
The next letter in the acronym for BLESS is “L” - Listen with care.
Since demand is high in the formal marketplace and informally to have someone listen to us, there is a need for good listeners
Listening is the absolute best gift you can give this Christmas season. You may not find it on Oprah’s list of favorite things, but good listening is very much in demand. Listening is a rare and sometimes costly commodity. The U.S. Behavioral Health Market, which includes listening services such as therapy and counseling was valued at about $90.5 billion in 2020 and is projected to hit $132.4 billion by 2027. This formal market includes various services such as home-based treatment, outpatient counseling, emergency mental health services, hospital treatment, and intensive care management. Outpatient counseling, such as therapy, is the largest segment of the market, constituting 35.1% of the market in 2020. While outpatient counseling includes mental health services and therapy, professional listening and counseling services is a staggering portion of the billions for outpatient counseling.
We spend a lot of money to have someone listen to us. Those are people who recognize that they need to talk and have someone listen. Millions more people not seeking professional listening or counseling services seek a listening ear, an encouraging word, and support in times of distress with family, friends, or even strangers that are good listeners.
Listening is also paramount when we talk about sharing our faith
The Barna study mentioned in last week’s message explored the experience of those with no Christian faith. The study found that people respond more positively when Christians embrace a dialogue instead of an argument. Few people like to argue.
The survey found that faith conversations received as positive were conversation when a person: (1) Listened well to you – number one 66%. (2) Asked you questions – 48%. (3) Asked if they could pray with you – 46%. (4) Displayed curiosity – 43%. (5) Asked if you wanted to grow spiritually -39%. (6) Spoke positively about other Christians – 38%. (7) Encouraged you to look for God or a higher power in everyday life – (37%).
The survey also found that faith conversations received negative response such as being corrected, criticizing other Christians, showing impatience, expressing disagreement, and criticizing other beliefs.
Many of these survey responses relate to listening well and respecting the person you are conversing with wherever they may be on their spiritual path. Respecting someone’s journey does not mean we cannot have conversation at all. There is a way that people respond to such conversations. The key point is that listening with care is core if we are going to share our faith and be a witness for Jesus.
Listening with care is essential when sharing our faith with the next generation
If you are a follower of Christ, perhaps you came forward when the doors of the church were opened or you raised your hand during an invitation to accept Christ. But for many, particularly the next generation, times have changed. The ways they sense and respond to Jesus’ invitation require a different approach. Please view this video clip on loving and listening well.
https://drive.google.com/file/d/19-gp21MVxPqoko48YJXHK1JwCGS6MUZi/view?usp=drive_link
Sharing our faith in words as well as deeds is about loving and listening well. When we learn to listen well in partnership with the Holy Spirit, we model and extend the love and care of our loving and listening God.
God is a model for listening well
Earlier in this message, we explored texts that modeled God’s call and our response as followers of Jesus. God engages with us in a call and response experience. However, in our humanity, we often are not paying attention until we are in need and don’t know what else to do, who else to talk to, or which direction we should go. God knows that about us. God is not mad at us for that. We are humans with a sinful nature that wants to do things our way until we can’t.
Followers of Jesus serve a God who listens. “The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are attentive to their cry” (Psalm 34:15). “And this is the boldness we have in God, if we ask anything according to God’s Will, God hears us.” (1 John 5:14). “The Lord is close to all who call on Him, yes, to all who call on Him in truth. He grants the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cries for help and rescues them.” (Psalm 145:18-19).
God doesn’t just hear, but God also listens and understands. God has compassion and empathy. God’s response is not always what we want to hear, but God does respond. When we share our hearts with God our cries, pleas, and questions do not fall on deaf ears. God is not distracted from multi-tasking. God gives us full attention, and God listens. This is why the Psalmist wrote, “I love the Lord because He hears my voice and my prayer for mercy. Because He bends down to listen, I will pray as long as I have breath!” (Psalm 116:1-2).
Jesus is also a model for listening well and communicating hope
While on earth, Jesus was a compassionate listener. He took time to hear people’s story. He asked questions. He gave thoughtful responses. He engaged in meaningful conversations that drew people closer to Him.
The way Jesus listened and communicated gave hope. Hope when Jesus asked blind Bartimaeus, “what do you want me to do for you?” (Mathew 20:32). Hope when Jesus said to the woman caught in adultery, “Neither do I condemn you. Go and sin no more” (John 8:11). Hope when Jesus said to Martha as she was grieving the death of her brother, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live.” (John 11:25).
We are not God or Jesus, so our listening won’t look exactly like theirs. With the power of the Holy Spirit, we can follow the heart of love in God the Father, and Jesus, the God the Son, to give the gift of listening. As we give the gift of listening well, we are also giving the gift of hope.
Listening with care is a gift of Validation and Understanding that offers hope
We know we matter and feel validated and understood when someone listens well. Then, it is incredibly affirming because we feel seen, heard, and acknowledged. Ralph Nichols wrote, “The most basic of human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them.” Listening with care is a gift of validation and understanding that offers hope. We tell ourselves that maybe I am not as off as I thought.
Listening with care is a gift of Empathy and Connection that offers hope
When someone listens well with compassion and understanding, we experience empathy. We feel a deep sense of connection and fellowship. We know we are not alone.
Listening with care is a gift of Encouragement and Support that offers hope
When someone listens well with encouragement and support, it bolsters us, especially if we’re feeling down, confused, or uncertain. As they listen and hear us well, they can offer another perspective, make suggestions, help us catch a vision for possibilities, and share encouraging words. We feel strengthened to continue.
Listening with care is the gift of a Safe and Holy Space to Explore, Heal, and Grow
A safe, holy space allows us to be real and to be ourselves. We can be real for ourselves even as we are still figuring things out and gathering our thoughts and perspectives.
Listening with care is listening like God and Jesus listens offering hope.
Listening is an amazing gift of hope; it is a gift our world definitely needs. As the Spirit opens the door for spiritual conversation, listening well enables us to extend not only hope, but also Jesus, our Living Hope.
Listening well and with care does not come naturally, so we need a reminder to grow (L.I.S.T.E.N.)
We don’t listen well. Most of the time, while someone is talking, we formulate what we are going to say in response. We are distracted or thinking about other things. We analyze and judge whether we agree or disagree before the other person even finishes.
Communication in general is hard work. Between listening and speaking, listening is harder. We know that listening is part of conversing, but we are still not very good at listening. We know how to do listening with care, but the issue is that we often fail to do active or attentive listening. A classic Peanuts cartoon contains the truth, “When you make conversation, you have to listen too.”
Practice intentional listening. As we BLESS this Christmas, grow in listening with care for God moments in conversations. The following reminders are for the LISTEN acronym.
“L” – Look interested and stay focused
For example, we have seen a family in a restaurant where everyone is on their phone, and there is no conversation whatsoever! Distracted people may glance at their watches and are glued to all types of media. We are distracted by people in our field of vision and even by the intrusion of our own thoughts. Jesus had compassion and interest whenever He spoke with people. It takes work and intentionality to stay focused. Good eye contact, noticing body language and tone of voice, and simply paying attention are looking and genuinely being interested in listening with care.
“I” – Invite deeper sharing with gentle questions of curiosity
Jesus used questions to deepen conversations using gentle questions without being nosy. The survey discussed earlier in this message, confirms what Jesus practiced. Gentle questioning requires being genuinely interested to learn more, gain clarity and understanding, and be fascinated by what the other person is sharing. For example, listening with care utilizes questions like, Can you say more about that? So what I think you are saying is … Is that right?
“S” – Seek to listen with empathy
Empathy is a way of connecting with feelings and experiences. For example, listening with care utilizes active listening statements like, What was that like for you. I’m so sorry; that sounds really hard. I can understand why you’d be so angry. We seek to invite people to share their experience and feelings as they are comfortable. Remember to stick with their story; do not hijack the conversation by turning it into your story.
“T” - Take the time
Trust the Holy Spirit in taking time to listen with care. Prayerful discernment is important because listening to people can take a lot of time. Jesus gave people time. Jesus dealt with interruptions on many occasions, including people wanting to be healed while Jesus was on his way somewhere and children seeking Jesus attention. Jesus did not send them away, but He invited them to come. Trust the Holy Spirit on taking time, but be open when the Spirit prompts to take the time to listen with care.
“E” – Engage the Holy Spirit
Dual listening is listening to the other person with your ears and listening to God with your heart in prayer with intentional openness. It is not that you are saying a prayer while the person is talking, so your attention is divided. You are fully focused on what the person is sharing. At the same time maintain a prayerful awareness of God. Maintain an open posture for what God wants you to hear, notice, or say when the time comes to respond. Sometimes a prayerful awareness of God is about listening “for the words under the words” or the unspoken sentiment that God may be stirring for a Holy Spirit led deeper conversation.
“N” – Notice God’s Footprints
The point is that you are engaging with the Spirit with a listening heart. Listen as the Spirit brings to your mind the footprints of God already at work in this person’s life. As we are listening with care, we may hear ways God is inviting them to draw near to God and recognize God moments in their life and stories. They may have an interest in spiritual practices or an opportunity for prayer. You may hear a passion for nature and be able to share it as one path to connect with God. A few months ago, we discussed different paths to God. The Barna research study indicated spiritually open people relate positively to being listened to with care. We hear and help other connect to God whenever we listen well and respect wherever they may be on their spiritual path.
The Big Idea
Listening with care is a gift of love we can give this Christmas. When we don’t listen well, we can miss the ways God is moving and inviting us to connect and share God’s message of love and hope. BLESS others with hope.
The world needs us. This quote explains why. “In the night of death, hope sees a star, and listening love can hear the rustle of a wing” (Robert Green Ingersoll).
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS INCLUDING FOR USE IN FAMILY GROUPS
Sermon Preamble
-Why is it important in your life journey that God is always present with you being attentive, caring, and watching over you?
God calls, God listens, and provides hope and a future
-After capture and exile by the Babylonians, what were God’s plans for the designated people of God?
-Similarly, what are the plans of God for hope and a future in our life journey even in difficult circumstances?
As followers of Jesus, our response should be led by the Holy Spirit to begin with prayer and seek to obey the process of going to make disciples
-As followers of Jesus, what is our part in the process, often over many years, of going to make disciples?
Since demand is high in the formal marketplace and informally to have someone listen to us, there is a need for good listeners
-While outpatient counseling provided by professional listening and counseling services is a staggering portion of the formal marketplace, in what ways can you give the gift of love in listening with care providing hope?
Listening is also paramount when we talk about sharing our faith
-In the Barna survey of conversations sharing faith, why do you think listening well is the top positive action in faith conversations?
Listening with care is essential when sharing our faith with the next generation
-Why is listening well especially important in sharing our faith with the next generation? What are the major points made in the video?
God is a model for listening well
-Describe the ways that God is a model for us in the gift of love in listening well.
Jesus is also a model for listening well and communicating hope
-Describe the ways that Jesus is a model for us in the gift of love in listening well? Why do we say that Jesus is the living hope of the world?
Listening with care is a gift of Validation and Understanding that offers hope
-What is the meaning for your life journey of the gift, Validation and Understanding, in listening with care?
Listening with care is a gift of Empathy and Connection that offers hope
-What is the meaning for your life journey of the gift, Empathy and Connection, in listening with care?
Listening with care is a gift of Encouragement and Support that offers hope
-What is the meaning for your life journey of the gift, Encouragement and Support, in listening with care?
Listening with care is the gift of a Safe and Holy Space to Explore, Heal, and Grow
-What is the meaning for your life journey of the gift, a Safe and Holy Space to Explore, Heal, and Grow, in listening with care?
Listening well and with care does not come naturally, so we need a reminder to grow (L.I.S.T.E.N.)
“L” – Look interested and stay focused
-What distractions do you need to minimize in order to listen well with care?
“I” – Invite deeper sharing with gentle questions of curiosity.
-What are some examples of gentle questions of curiosity fascinated with what the other person is sharing?
“S” – Seek to listen with empathy
-In what ways can you listen with empathy and sympathy by seeing yourself in another’s place?
“T” - Take the time
-Why should we be open to the prompting of the Holy Spirit in making the time to listen with care?
“E” – Engage the Holy Spirit
-As we are focused on whatever the other person is sharing, why is it important to listen to God and the Spirit?
“N” – Notice God’s Footprints
-What are some examples of footprints of God already at work in a person’s life as one way to connect with God?
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Posted in A B.L.E.S.S. Christmas
Posted in listen, God\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'s presence, hope, love, call, future, Jerimiah 29, Holy Spirit, Barna, Psalm 116, Psalm 34, 1 John 5:14, Matthew 20, John 8:11, John 11:25, validate, understand, empathy, connection, encourage, support, holy space, focus, invite, curious, God\\\\\\\'s footprints
Posted in listen, God\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'s presence, hope, love, call, future, Jerimiah 29, Holy Spirit, Barna, Psalm 116, Psalm 34, 1 John 5:14, Matthew 20, John 8:11, John 11:25, validate, understand, empathy, connection, encourage, support, holy space, focus, invite, curious, God\\\\\\\'s footprints
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